In Memory of our fur baby, Caesar
Hello friends, I am starting a blog series in memory of our fur baby, Caesar. This post is really special and close to my heart. I have been quite emotional since the last few days when I decided to write about our first child, our fur baby, our dog Caesar who is no more with us. He left us alone in this troubled world on March 25, 2018.
He had just turned 3 & made his first road trip with us, and we were already planning another one for the next month. But everything changed in just a blink of an eye. It felt as if I had lost a part of me that day.
I have not talked about Caesar with anyone except family because I still don’t feel ready. Somewhere in my heart, I have this huge guilt that his death is my fault. Being a mother, I feel he was my responsibility, and I should have saved him no matter what.
How could a mother let her child die in her hands? This question still haunts me.
I hope to gather some strength by the end of this blog series to write about that unfortunate day when we lost Caesar. Pet parents will be able to understand my pain. But for others, I want to request to read the post with an open heart.
And, please don’t judge me, I am not yet ready to face the judgement.
This whole month, I want to write about Caesar starting from the day we brought him home to his last day with us. I hope that would help liberate the grief that’s deep-seated in my heart & help me heal. And, I could once again tell my baby that I am sorry. I still remember you, miss you, love you and want you to come back to Mumma, this time I will do better. Please, forgive me!
I wanted to write this long back in July when Richa & Priya started an Instagram page, Letter Unread, for people to share & talk about the stories of loss, love, and healing. I tried to write many times but couldn’t do it. A voice inside me keeps saying that I deserve this pain.
I know I deserve it, but I really can’t bear this pain anymore.
I want to talk about Caesar with people without feeling any guilt. And, I want to tell the world what an intelligent, smart, crazy & lovable pup he was.
If he were with us right now, he would be lying on my slippers pretending to be asleep but keeping a watch on me with half-closed eyes. And the moment I would get up from the bed, he would follow me everywhere, excitedly wagging his tail to give me company. Or maybe for a treat or just for a pat on his forehead. Umm, let’s just stick with giving me company.
I am doing a blog series this month in memory of our fur baby, #My_Son_Caesar.
Since this is the month of #MyFriendAlexa by Blogchatter, I will be linking all my posts to their website. Do check out the new reloaded Blogchatter website to discover some amazing blogs, bloggers, and campaigns.
Click on the below link to read the next part
How We Met Our Fur Baby? Did we Adopt or Buy? – Blog Series (Part – 2)
This is such a heartfelt post ! The love and pain are so relatable and you have Beautifully pened it
Thank you, Arul for stopping by and reading this post. Means a lot.
I am looking forward to reading about Ceaser, Neha. I am terrified of pets, but I am sure he was more than just that. Hope writing these posts help you heal. and as readers, they teach us something about love and life.
Thank you, Mayuri for taking out time & reading this post even though you are not a pet parent and I know how you stay away from pets. This means a lot to me. Yes, you are right he was not just a pet, he was our little baby. I hope that it helps & doesn’t work the other way round. Thank you once again for stopping by.
Wow it will be fun to read about Ceaser, look forward to know the cutie pet.
Heartflet and glad you chose a month for ceaser to write on.
Thanks for stopping by, Pragun 🙂
Caesar is absolutely adorable! I can completely understand your feeling of loss. I am a pet parent of two lovely bunnies and the thought of losing them for even a single minute is painful. Many of my family members are pet parents of dogs and I know how interactively doting they are. May you always cherish the golden moments spent with your furry friend. Looking forward to glimpses of those, through your posts.
Thank a lot, Jyoti for your kind words. I am glad to know that someone out there is able to relate to my feelings. I couldn’t ask for anything more.
i can totally relate to your feelings. both our doggies passed away when we were away from them, especially me. my terrier was like my first baby and I will always miss her furry little face. i calmed down only when the doctor confirmed that I had conceived on the same day my terrier passed away miles away from me…
Oh, Ceaser.. I can totally relate to the emotions, Neha. It’s not easy to deal with a loss of a baby. Hugs!
Thank you, Puspanjalee
Sorry for your loss. Would love to hear about Ceaser. Stay strong.
I know it is extremely difficult to part with a pet and pups become a part of your family. I will be coming back to read more about your fur baby. Hope writing about it lightens your burden…
I hope so, Sir. Thank you for reading.
Though I’m not a pet parent, writing through your grief is something I’m familiar with. I really hope that by the end of this series your pain eases some and you’re able to look at it with less guilt. Hugs to you.
Thanks a lot, Suchita
This gave me goosebumps, Neha. Caesar was really cute. May he rest in peace.
Thank you, Nitisha
My family just got a new fur baby 3 months ago… My sister-in-law lost her fur baby within 7 days of adopting him just a couple of weeks ago… Fur babies are a great addition to the family but losing them is also the one which is most painful… Caesar was such a cutie… May he rest in peace… Please don’t feel guilty, I am sure as a dog Mom you have tried your best… Hugs to you… I’ll read the other posts on him once I have enough time…
Your post remind me, my fur baby. She is no more now but I can still remember her everything.
Don’t ever feel that you were the reason of its death, everyone on this earth has its own fortune.
Love to read all your memories with Caesar.
I hope writing about Caesar could be cathartic for you. mAY HE RIP.
OMG Neha, I know how hard it is to let go or come to the realisation that our pet-child is no more with us. I can completely understand your pain and my condolences to you. May Caesar be in peace and happy wherever he is.
I will be glued to the series, I still remember when we lost our first cat. We children cried our hearts out , my brother took his bicycle at the age of 10 and asked everyone he could find about the cat and brought back her.
What a heartfelt post Neha. I am Eagerly waiting to know more about your fur baby Caesar.
Thanks for writing this!
Pets are definitely a big part of a family and losing them is nothing short of a family loss. I feel you and wish you find closure.
I am so sorry to hear this, I undestand your pain. I really hope, this series brings closure for you. I am definitely eager to read more about this adorable furball 🙂
I too had a fur brother and a fur sister and I lost both of them. Decades apart but that still didn’t dull the pain. I know exactly what you are talking about. It’s been 5 years since I lost Rocky and I still feel guilty at times. In retrospect, there seems like there’s so much we could have done, right? I hope that this series will bring you the much needed closure you deserve. Just know that, Caesar is in a better place chasing butterflies and maybe his own tail, with nothing to worry about. And he will want you to be happy and cherish all the memories you shared without the grief clouding them.
He looked so cute as a pup and equally handsome in his adolescence.. So sorry for your loss dear.. I can understand your feelings and would love to read more about him.
Looking forward for the whole series. Please don’t live with any guilt. You did what you could. I know easier said than done. I too have a pet and had one in the past and I know the pain of losing one. Hugs. Dogs are the best. Somehow I feel no one can love you more than your dog. Keep writing and try to find peace over this pain through writing about Ceaser.
#MyFriendAlexa #ContemplationOfaJoker #Jokerophilia
Pets are like family members , we get close to them.
Oh such a touchy post.. was so nice reading.. my only guilt is, I am never comfortable touching these fur pillows.. I only adore them from a distance!!
Ohh Ceaser is adorable and this is such a heart warming post. It is such an emotional read. They are part of the family and when you loose them , its always difficult to bear the pain.
Such a heartfelt post and I hope you are able to move ahead with this pain through this series.
This is such a sweet post and theme you are taking ahead!! I am more curious to read coming posts!!
i can relate with your post, pets are very close to heart and loosing them is painful. few yrs back i lost my pet dog too, I’ve to still gather courage to bring another one in my life. in a way I’m still not over Rocky.
I am sure that it’s indeed quite difficult for you still to recount memories related to Caesar… but I believe he is still fine and wagging his tail where he is now, especially remembering all the happy memories that you have gifted each other…
It’s a series that will give us all happiness seeing how Caesar grew and the events that lead to his untimely demise. No judgments, only lots of love and hugs!
Hugs, Neha. This post made my eyes moist. I have always been a no pet person as I am afraid of them but lately have discovered an affection for the fur babies. Not surely if I will have one but there is something inside me that has changed. I have seen many pet parents and their bind they share with them. Its indeed a selfless love I ‘d say.