Finding My Jeevansathi

Hello lovely people, how’s February treating you? Since this is the month of love and also my anniversary month, I wanted to share my unconventional arranged marriage story with you all. In the first part of this post, “Finding Love in Arranged Marriage,” I shared my ordeal of meeting with families to find a perfect partner for marriage. It was quite a daunting task for me and even more distressing for my parents. Today, I am sharing this story of finding my Jeevansathi on Jeevansathi dot com. 

Yesterday was Rose Day, the first day of Valentine’s week! I almost forgot about it this year. But as I opened my eyes in the morning, I saw my husband standing near the bed with a cute bouquet of roses in his hands. My son was also there with him, trying to understand what was going on. Even though my excitement for the love month is fading with age, my husband remembers how this time of year used to make me go crazy with excitement. It was a sweet surprise that made butterflies flutter in my tummy once again. It also made me wonder, does this count as true love?

This took me down memory lane, to the time when I had almost given up on the idea of finding the right match for me, let alone finding love. But it found me. Let me take you on this adventure of how I found my Jeevansathi (life partner) on Jeevansathi dot com.

Finding Jeevansathi

As I was working with a company in Gurgaon at the time, we would only get the weekends to discuss this topic. My parents tried everything to make me understand the importance of marriage. It was like a tug of war, with me trying to live my life in the present and my parents worrying about my future. Then, there came a saturation point when I told them that I would marry anyone they would choose for me without asking any questions.

You know what that meant? It meant I just wanted to get it over with as I couldn’t take it anymore. I started binge-eating and losing my sleep. Within two months, I gained almost 7 kgs. I was always in a depressed mood and I stopped going out on the weekends too. In short, I was losing it!

There’s a pattern I have noticed in my life since childhood. Whenever I hit my lowest, I get this energy to start all over again. An invisible hand holds me and walks me to the right path. Does it happen with you too?

I had understood one thing by then; I could not escape marriage. While I thought I had agreed to what my parents wanted, I had actually made their task much more difficult. No parent can see their child suffering. And, similarly, no child can see their parents helpless.

Then came a day when I sat down with my mother and made a complete plan of how to go about it.

The first task was to take control of my life, my health and my mind. And, to do that I took 3 major steps:

• I left my job (as it was taking all my time & energy)

• Made a profile on Jeevansathi.com (as I wanted to try a different approach)

• Joined swimming, aerobics and yoga classes (as I had to get back my health)

I set a target; by the end of 2014, I would find a man to call mine.

Now, I was spending most of my time on the matrimony website. Within a few weeks, I became a pro in shortlisting and interacting with potential profiles. I knew exactly what to ask for them to move on to the next level. It may sound like HR shortlisting candidates for a job. But it was much more serious than that.

I had made a rule that I would first chat with the person online for a week or two. If everything felt good, then I would move to calls and next to meeting. But I was looking for a person who could make his own decisions. Someone who is progressive in their thinking, mature and dependable. Most importantly, someone whose family listens to them and respects them.

On 28th August 2014, I got a request on my Jeevansathi profile. It was a perfect match as per the website.

I followed the next steps, chatted with the person for a week to understand what he was looking for in his future partner. When I felt this could be taken ahead, I showed the profile to my mother.

After that, we started talking on the phone, and it just clicked. After 15 days, we decided to meet. For our first meeting, I brought my mother along, just in case. I still remember that day clearly; we went to Moti Mahal Delux and ordered some snacks. He seemed confident meeting a girl and her mother for the first time, all alone. I liked that!

My mother was happy!

On the other hand, I was super nervous; couldn’t even talk properly, couldn’t even take a bite of food.

I couldn’t understand what was happening to me. No, it was not love at first sight! For sure 😀

Or, was it? I am still not sure, haha!

Anyways, that meeting was successful. Now, we started meeting every weekend. We were dating!

True love is elusive. Love never comes walking towards you. Some people may stumble upon it by chance but even then, they have to nurture it to see it grow. What do you think?

I don’t know if matrimonial websites still work or not in finding the right alliance, but it worked for me!

If you think the story ends here, you are wrong. We had a breakup-like situation just a month into the courtship period. Who was at fault? Stay tuned to find out!

This is my story of finding a Jeevansathi; want to share yours?

This blog post is part of the blog challenge ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’ hosted by Cindy D’Silva and Noor Anand Chawla in collaboration with Bohemian Bibliophile.