Finding My Soulmate, My Forever

Hi everyone, does it feel like time is racing by this year? Just a few days ago, it was the first day of 2024 and today we’re celebrating Valentine’s Day. And tomorrow, I’ll be celebrating my 9th marriage anniversary. Almost a decade! Today, I am excited to share my journey of finding my soulmate, my forever.

It still feels like a dream; I can’t believe it’s been 9 long years. Each anniversary, I find myself telling my husband that it’s unbelievable our marriage has lasted this long. I never imagined that an arranged marriage could endure in today’s world, where even love struggles to stand the test of time. Nowadays, we have the option to voice our concerns and walk out of a marriage if things feel off. It’s easier to break than to mend, and we often lack the mental capacity to deal with complicated situations. But ours has stood strong and I give the credit to my husband for that.

Many of my friends used to say I was lucky to find such an amazing partner like Sumit (my husband). But I always told them it wasn’t just luck; I fought a long battle to find the right person for me.

In our society, young girls are often made to believe that they don’t have a choice and should settle for whatever comes their way. This mindset is flawed!

I challenged that notion and fought for what I truly deserved!

In the first part of this series, “Finding Love in Arranged Marriage”, I shared my ordeal of meeting with families to find a perfect partner for marriage.

In the second part, I ventured into the unknown in a quest for “Finding My Jeevansathi on Jeevansathi dot com.”

Now, let’s dive into the final chapter of this short series on marriage and love. As I mentioned in my last post, Sumit and I officially began dating on 15th September 2014.

Initially, we only met on Sundays but after a few weeks, we started meeting on Saturdays too. We’d spend the whole day together, hopping from one cafe to another with endless conversations. It’s incredible how quickly we became comfortable with each other as if the universe was paving the way for us. I wanted to truly know and understand him before committing to marriage and I wanted him to do the same.

First, I confirmed if what he had mentioned in his Jeevansathi profile was correct. His love for adventure and travel was the first thing I had noted in his bio. After a few meetings, I found out that he was also a foodie, just like me.

I tested him in various ways to get to know him better, to see his true nature and how he acted and reacted in tense situations. This is something young couples often overlook in their partners because they are so deeply in love. However, once the initial lovey-dovey feelings fade, they often feel clueless about their partner. That’s when the problems start! I didn’t want to take that chance.

We hear a lot about green flags and red flags nowadays. I wasn’t aware of these terms back then but I’m glad I’ve been successful in finding a partner with all green flags.

October 2014 – Finding My Soulmate

It was 4th Oct, a Saturday, when my mom said, ‘Let’s go and meet Sumit at his place.’

I was taken aback! It was unplanned and my mother asked me to confirm with him if we could visit. I could sense his surprise at this sudden request but he agreed nonetheless. At that time, he was living in Noida, sharing an apartment with his friends.

It was such an awkward meeting but he was a gracious host, making us comfortable and even brewing up some chai, which I instantly fell in love with. To this day, he makes chai for me every morning without fail.

Our journey together is filled with countless memories, from our first selfie to birthday celebrations and family meetings. What I loved most about his family was their warmth and acceptance, without any expectations or demands.

You might be thinking that I must have fallen in love with him by then. But no, I didn’t!

I can’t explain why but the feeling just wasn’t there.

And that began to bother me. I started finding fault in everything. I realized that despite our shared interests, our personalities were quite different. This led to clashes of ideas. One day, I became furious over something and told him I didn’t want to continue the relationship.

Somewhere in my mind, I knew I was wrong but didn’t want to admit it. Love had found me but I kept running away.

It was during this time that he saw my other side, my worst side. He could have easily accepted the breakup then; it wasn’t too late. But he stayed. He helped me open up, he listened and we talked. That day, for the first time, I felt a strong connection with him.

On 12th November 2014, we had the Roka ceremony.

Soon after, the elders finalized the wedding date, 15th February 2015, which felt too soon to me. I asked for more time but nobody listened. This time, I didn’t force and went with the flow.

We planned our wedding together, went shopping and visited venues. We embarked on a hunt to find the perfect wedding rings for us. Those three months flew by in a jiffy but they left us with many sweet memories to cherish forever.

In my quest for finding love and companionship, I stumbled upon something truly remarkable – a soulmate. He isn’t just a partner to me; he’s the missing piece of my soul, completing me in ways I never imagined. With him, I’ve found more than just a lover; he’s my confidant, my friend and someone who truly understands me.

It took me some years to fall in love with him. But our relationship is not just about love, it’s about understanding, respect and mutual support. It’s about weathering the storms together, celebrating the victories, and being there for each other through thick and thin. Our bond is strengthened by laughter, shared dreams and the countless memories we’ve created over the years.

This doesn’t mean we don’t have disagreements, misunderstandings and conflicts. But we’ve learned to communicate openly, to compromise and to grow together as individuals while also growing as partners. Our relationship is a journey of discovery, constantly evolving and deepening as we navigate life’s ups and downs hand in hand.

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Some people find their soulmate in a friend or in a lover or in a sibling or in a parent or in their partner. I found my soulmate in my husband. Reflecting on our journey, I am grateful for every twist and turn that led us to where we are today. 

If you are someone who is on a quest for finding a Jeevansathi or embarking on a new relationship, remember to cherish every moment, embrace the journey and trust that the universe will guide you to the right person at the right time. Trust in the power of love and connection! Here’s to finding your soulmate, your forever and creating a love story that’s uniquely yours.

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~A message for my soulmate~

Happy 9th anniversary, baby!🧿 So, this year, I’m not going to ask you how we are able to come this far. Now, I’m looking forward to our 10th, 15th, 25th, 50th anniversary and already planning how we are going to celebrate our special days.

Whenever I close my eyes and imagine us in the future, when we get old, very old may be in our 70s, I see us sitting near a beautiful beach looking at the sunrise hand in hand. Then you ask me to go for a walk along the beach and I hesitate and resist but then give you my hand. You help me get up and we hold our canes and take baby steps towards the ocean, reminiscing about the wonderful journey we’ve had together and feeling grateful for every moment we’ve shared. I pray to God everyday to make it happen.

You’ve broken all the bad stereotypes a man carries with him, you’re not just an amazing partner but also a wonderful father. Men like you need to be protected and celebrated at all cost. I’m super proud of you and I love you more than words can express.🧿

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This blog post is part of the blog challenge ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’ hosted by Cindy D’Silva and Noor Anand Chawla in collaboration with Mads’ Cookhouse.

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