MAA – The Mom Series (Post 2)
Hey guys, it’s Monday and I am back with another set of power packed stories written by two strong mommies for our MAA – The Mom Series. Well, we all mothers know how pregnancy and delivery takes a toll on our health if not taken care of properly. We go through a lot many dilemmas when our life takes a totally new path and sometimes we are left with choices which are in fact the most difficult ones to make. Read the stories of moms who fought depression and weight gain with their strong will and determination.
Postpartum Depression “TEARS TO CHEERS”
– By Rupal Agarwal
It’s not at all easy for me to write this. I wanted to share my story written with my heart. No one had ever told me about postpartum depression during my whole pregnancy time. You can’t guess that the new mom is suffering from PPD just by looking at her.
The problem is that people have many expectations from a new mother and they think that those first days or weeks or even months after child’s birth should be the happiest days of a mother’s life. Yes, I was overwhelmed with love for ‘Prisha’ no doubt but at the same time, I didn’t want to see anyone during those initial days as I knew they would expect me to be the happiest glowing new mom, who’s ready to face the world but no, the reality was far from that.
Postpartum depression (PPD), also called postnatal depression, is a type of mood disorder associated with childbirth. Symptoms may include extreme sadness, low energy, anxiety, crying episodes, irritability, and changes in sleeping or eating patterns. Onset is typically between one week and one month following childbirth. PPD can also negatively affect the person’s child.
Source – Wikipedia
PPD occurred when I delivered my baby girl after 9 years of marriage, no it’s not because I delivered a girl child, but because of the pressure, I received from family members to feed the baby, which I couldn’t even after trying really hard. I wished someone could understand the emotions I was going through. I went into the black hole of depression that I stopped feeling my worth and just couldn’t connect with the baby.
I remember a visit from my sister and papa and that time I just wanted to run and hide somewhere, had an emotional breakdown for no obvious reason. There was a time when I had cried for days, every other relative visiting us to bless the baby just wanted to know whether I was feeding the baby or not and that would make me so sad as well as mad. I didn’t understand why everyone has to offer an advice. I am a mother and I know what my baby needs. If I am not able to breastfeed my baby, I will bottle feed but why every other person has to come and ask the same thing over and again.
I tell you this is a crazy world. But I have just one thing to say to them.
My baby – My choice.
I was telling myself this is just the PPD and it will pass soon. But it was not that soon for us, I had a difficult time dealing with what I was going through. Looking at my baby gave me strength and confidence that every mother does the best for her baby and so was I. Maybe I am not a perfect mother, but I am trying to do my best for her. For the world, she may be 20 months old but for me, she is 29 months old, I know her since she was in my womb.
I hit the rock bottom, I wanted to feel better for my family, my husband and most importantly for my baby. I was telling myself daily that I am a strong lady and a good mother. I fed her with the bottle and loved her every day despite my anxiety.
I didn’t expect new motherhood to be such a wild wave of emotion, that is why I wanted to share my story here. I wish I gave myself a little more grace and didn’t put so much pressure on myself. It took me almost 1.5 years to share this very personal struggle with you all. I finally decided to open up in hope that I too can help at least one person who may be dealing with this disorder that is not often recognized.
There will be so many times you feel like you have failed but in the eyes, heart and mind of your child you are SUPER MOM!
Deliver the baby but not your health
– By Rashmi Datta
It’s been 20months since I gave birth to a sweet little girl and time is passing like anything. My baby has turned into a beautiful angel, but am I as beautiful as I was pre-delivery?
It was 4th of July 2015, when I saw the two pink lines and trust me it was the happiest day of my life, my husband and I were on cloud nine. I had to leave my job in the first trimester due to official policies and then started the weight gain. I used to be at home all day resting and taking in high-calorie food which was full of tallow.
In our Indian culture, we are supposed to eat ghee, oil and dry fruits for normal delivery and also the intake go double as the elders keep saying “you have to eat for two now”. And the problem is you can’t even say no to them.
Now when the delivery goes normal, you are again forced to eat the same dishes full of ghee and loaded with sugar. My veggies and dal always used to have extra butter added to them, even my tea was made with full cream milk. When I saw myself in the mirror almost a week after my delivery, I realized how much weight I have gained and trust me that was disheartening because I myself didn’t like to see that fat over my body.
It was the moment when I decided what I want to do. On the 25th day after delivery, I stood up and started performing the household chores. I was too firm to get back into the shape, while most women aren’t bothered about it but for me, it was an alarming call. What I gathered was that there was just a need for some extra efforts from our end.
“Health is your biggest asset, if you stay fit and healthy you live long and happy”
Getting married at the age of 26 and delivering a baby at the age of 29 made me think that getting back to my beautiful self, was a far fledged dream now. But this trauma didn’t last for long. All the credit goes to my husband who is tall, lean, has abs and is diet conscious. He is my biggest motivation. I too wanted to look healthy and pretty hence I decided to dedicate some time to the workout. Henceforth I joined aerobics and yoga classes but it wasn’t that easy to leave the baby at home and go out especially when the baby is still on breastfeed and is always looking for you, this time support came in from my Mother-in-law who supported me by taking care of the baby when I went out. Moreover, she took my side by answering back the neighbors as well who would mock me for leaving the baby at home to go to the gym.
I was delighted when my gym trainer, a week ago, appreciated me for being a mother to a 20-months-old angel. His words that you don’t seem to be rearing a child since you look so fit and in shape, made me reach the seventh heaven. So all this has been keeping me motivated and at the end, I want to say “love yourself and people will love you back”.
Health is not about the weight you lose, but about the life you gain.
This week, we also have one fun contribution from a super lady who aspires to write fiction stories someday, she is not yet a mother but understands a lot about motherhood.
Mommy and Time Machines
– By Neetika Soam
Whenever a woman becomes a mother, she automatically becomes super-talented and comes under the super-goddess species. They know everything and they can do anything. Even the super-fast “BOLT” can’t beat them the way they have the power to smell, watch, hear, and numerous other things they can do in just a frame of time.
Though I am not a mother yet still I carry a handful of experience in my belly and all the credit goes to my super-mom-friends who are the source of my crunchy, utterly-buttery flavors of motherhood.
Usually, mothers get emotional while revisiting their kid’s childhood memories. But during those days, they also wanted to get rid of sleepless nights and edgy days. This is the reason why I think that TIME MACHINES are just perfect for our super-moms so that they can ditch those edgy moments and re-live the cutest & happiest ones.
Statements like, “O God I am tired of these mood swings”. And after 9 months, “O god I love my little monster”.
And like these, “Can someone take this little one away for a while so that I can take my power nap”. And the very next moment, “where are they, where are my kids?”.
Now imagine if we give them a “Time Machine” to relive the best memories. Scenario would be like – “Aji sunte ho mujhe gudiya ki bahut yaad aa rahi hai, mein kuch waqt time machine me hoke aati hun” (I am missing my girl a lot, oh I should go in the time machine for some time and will be back soon)
I hope one day this would be possible and we all can re-visit our sweetest moments spent with our kids.
I totally loved reading these stories and once again I have got inspired by these moms to keep going in life, to stay positive and think about our health too for the sake of our kids and family.
Thanks a lot, Rupal, Rashmi and Neetika for taking out time and sharing your write-ups with me. Means a lot!
Mothers can not give from a depleted source. Every mother needs emotional, mental, physical and spiritual validation, nourishment and support. When a mother is respected and well cared for, she and her whole family will benefit.
I hope you are liking this series and getting inspired by the beautiful stories shared by the lovely mommies. Do leave a comment below to show your love and support. And do come back next Monday to read the last set of stories for this month!