How to deal with Toddler Tantrums? Everyone wants to know the answer to this question. Well, in my last 3 years of parenting journey, I have learned that instead of reacting to difficult situations, responding calmly helps the best. I am telling you this because I’m experienced now. But if I tell you to follow this, most probably, you will fail.

Confused?

Don’t be…! I will explain.

All the parents reading this post must very well know that it’s not at all easy to be a mommy or a daddy. It takes a lot of effort, patience, learning & failings to actually feel proud of being a parent. When I was a new mom, I would often fight with myself. Because I used to think I was a very bad mother. And that I was doing everything wrong. Even the new father (my husband) would feel confused about not understanding a crying baby. It was big CHAOS!

But then with time, we learned the tricks. Tricks to handle a baby! It all seemed easy breezy. Life became Happy.

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But, wait!!!

This happiness started fading away soon when we realized the baby is no more a baby, he’s a toddler now. Oh my God & all our tricks became trash in no time. The once proud self-boasting parents fell into a deep dark pit, an unknown unexplored territory of parenting. A place where tantrums ruled, yes, the toddler tantrums!

Toddlers may look charming and entertaining but don’t get fooled by their antics.

One minute they will look so happy & even share their fav meal with you. And the very next moment you’ll find them screaming & rolling on the floor demanding to give back that bite you just finished.

PARENTING is CHALLENGING as well as CONFUSING!

PIN IT!

But hey, with time comes experience. We start understanding our own GENES!!!

Just a month ago, our son turned 3 years old. And we are literally juggling between a toddler and a preschooler stage now.  Preschooler stage is even more confusing and ever difficult than dealing with toddler tantrums. These kids think that they know everything & they keep asking you questions all the time. Not only this, they demand an answer on the spot otherwise a tantrum may follow.

Anyways, am not going to dive into this topic. I will now share how we survived the toddler stage. Please note, our mantra may or may not work for you. So, use them at your own discretion.

You may read my posts for Super Blogger Challenge, here and here!

We have a 5-step Parenting Mantra for dealing with toddler tantrums

Step 1- Breathe and take it easy

Simplest of all, whenever you sense a tantrum, and there’s nothing, literally nothing you can do about it. Just close your eyes! And, Take a Deep Breath!

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If it doesn’t calm your senses, move on to the next step.

Step 2- Remind yourself this too shall pass

With eyes still closed & breaths getting deeper, just go back in time when your baby was little. Keep going and stop when you see a cute face with the prettiest smile. Remind yourself, this is your baby & he is still cute. And this time too shall pass!

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Suddenly, you break away from your deep meditation & hear loud screaming & thumping sounds.

Step 3- Just go away from the scene

The toddler is now looking at you from the corner of his eye & probably he’s thinking why you’re not responding. That’s the point when they want to try their best skills to annoy you further. Don’t get fooled here! Just go away from the scene.

Oh no, you lost your cool with slightest provoking. The next step is the favorite of every mother. Yelling. But, it seldom works on toddlers. So, AVOID!

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What now? The toddler is looking directly into your eyes & giving you a wicked smile. You are about to have a breakdown. Just hang in there and call for help!

Step 4- Ask for help. Call your partner!

This is your time to save yourself. If your partner is around, it’s their turn to take control of the situation. You need to have some kind of emergency call out code. So that your partner or if not a partner then someone else from the family should reach out to you immediately.

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What if? What if you are all alone!

Step 5- Just say ‘I Love You’ and give a ‘Big Bear Hug’ to your toddler

This works, trust me! But it will work once you are drained out of energy and on the brink of passing out. Also, by this time, your toddler is almost bored with this tantrum game. They forget you forgive (or vice versa) and everything’s back to normal.

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So, that’s it, guys. This is our #momology or parenting mantra when it comes to dealing with toddler tantrums or some tricky situations. A hug and a kiss can never go wrong!

This month I am participating in the #Momology Blog Train. And, this is my 1st post of the blog train on Prompt 1.

Prompt 1 – What is your secret and most effective #Momology or Parenting Mantra that comes handy in most tricky situations

This blog train hosted by Thoughts byGeethica, Slimexpectations, Mummasaurus, and Truly Yours Roma sponsored by FirstCry Intellikit, Instacuppa, Diet Funda, Hugs n tugs, Tina Basu, Unorthodoxpeeps, Lotus Herbals baby and Shumee toys.

“I would like to thank Anupriya for introducing me in the Momology Blog Train. You can read more about her work at Mommytincture. I would now like to introduce Disha who blogs at Lifemyway”

The post Struggling with Toddler Tantrums? Our 5-Step Foolproof Parenting Mantra appeared first on Growing With Nemit.

“Successful mothers are not the ones who have never struggled. They are the ones who never give up, despite the struggles” – Sharon Jaynes

Hello to all my lovely readers and friends, I am sure you will agree with the above statement. I haven’t met a mother whose motherhood journey had been a smooth road, there are difficulties, challenges as well as lots of struggles that we face every day starting from Day 1 of our pregnancy, the day when a new life takes its place inside us and connects with our soul.

And today in our MAA – The Mom Series, I am bringing to you the stories of mothers who despite having many roadblocks in their journey did not give up and are getting strong and positive with each coming day. They are the true inspiration to many in the world who think that their motherhood journey is most difficult and are struggling to find their way through it.

A Survival Story

– By Richa Kaushik

Those two pink lines brought us immense pleasure as it would have to any other couple planning to bring those two little hands and two little feet and a cute smile in their lives. We were on cloud nine and wanted to hold our baby in our arms.

This good news was followed by a series of tests, ultrasounds, diet plans and lots of wishes & advises from friends and family members. Everything was fine until 14^th week (I was getting accustomed to needles, the sight of which once used to faint me!!) when I got my reports for the double marker test.

It was a normal day, I went to the school (by the way am a teacher), came home, finished my house chores and then I got a call from my gynecologist about my reports. She wanted to meet us immediately which was unusual on her part. We went there just to realize that our world was going to fall apart. The reports were bad.

It showed a high risk of Trisomy 21 (Down Syndrome). I was asked to make a choice. A choice?  A mom was told to either keep the child or abort it. I had no words. I cried my heart out and I was asking the God…Why me? I wanted to run away from there as my heart sunk and mind stopped working.

Down syndrome (DS or DNS), also known as trisomy 21, is a genetic disorder which is typically associated with physical growth delays, characteristic facial features and mild to moderate intellectual disability. The average IQ of a young adult with Down syndrome is 50, equivalent to the mental ability of an 8- or 9-year-old child, but this can vary widely.

Source – Wikipedia

Finally, I made a tough choice to go for “Amniocentesis”. We went for a counseling first and came to know that there were 1% chances of miscarriage as the baby could attack the needle or the needle might hurt the baby.

I felt as if I was the most unfortunate woman who had done so many sins. Was I going to pay off like this? But the mother inside me decided to stay strong and I was there for the process the very next day.

A needle was inserted into my uterus through my tummy. Throughout the whole procedure, I was talking to my baby as I could see her on the ultrasound screen, I was telling her to stay calm and not to attack the needle while this unwanted invasion was going on. Everything was done and I was advised to take a week’s bed rest.

Amniocentesis (also referred to as amniotic fluid test) is a medical procedure used in prenatal diagnosis of genetic disorders such as Down Syndrome and fetal infections in which a small amount of amniotic fluid, is sampled from the amniotic sac surrounding a developing fetus, and then the fetal DNA is examined for genetic abnormalities.

Source – Wikipedia

Two weeks till the reports came were the most difficult days for me as I went into depression, my appetite, thirst, sleep everything was gone. I lost 2 kg weight and I just couldn’t express my feelings to anyone. My hubby was equally tensed but I wanted to show him that I was strong.

After 2 weeks, when we got the reports, we were the happiest to-be parents as by God’s grace reports came out to be fine. I just could not thank God enough from my heart and soul. All the wishes and blessings I had ever got were bestowed on me.

My baby is a strong girl as she had to go a lot while inside my womb, which is a long story to tell some other time. But this survival story might inspire those who are going through a similar situation. I regained my health and my smiles.

She is a brave child. My strong survivor!

Dealing with Tantrums

– By Arushi Arora

Ahh!! My kid is having a tantrum and I want to scream…

Yessss I really want to scream when I find that my 20 months old baby becomes very fussy for each and everything. And I guess most parents experience it, those moments when their kids have a full-blown temper tantrum, which may involve screaming, crying, stomping feet, dropping to the ground or all of the above.

Same thing happened to me last month when we were out for a visit to the mall and suddenly my baby became fussy and stubborn and he lied down on the floor for no reason. Seriously this was too stressful for me, no matter where it happens but when it’s in a public place you feel as if everyone is looking at you and judging “what kind of a mother she is, can’t even control her kid”. And at that time you just want to curl up in a ball and scream.

Well, NO, I didn’t scream neither did I run somewhere to hide, in fact, I handled the whole situation patiently and without panicking, I asked my little one in the softest possible voice to cool down and promised him to buy his favorite cake and took him for rides to distract his mind. Because I knew, if I started yelling or screaming at him, the situation would have got even worse.

“THINK IN THE FUTURE, ACT IN THE PRESENT”

It may sound hard to do but we need to forget about other people who may be watching us during those cringe-inducing moments when our children are in the throes of a tantrum.

SHOUTING back to the child is not helpful for anyone because that’s more sensory information that is going to make them go into a NUCLEUS.

When little people are overwhelmed by big emotions, it’s our job to share our calm, not to join their chaos – L.R Knost

Think of yourself as a “TUNING FORK”, the calmer and clearer you can be, the better things will become”

We can not avoid or guess when a tantrum will hit but we can surely take beforehand measures to handle them on the spot. Here are few tips that help me in such a situation –

• Always carry their favorite toys or food while going out.
• Give them choices while in the middle of a tantrum.
• Give lots of cuddly hugs to calm them down.
• Get down to their level of understanding to control the situation.

I must say remember that strangers are just the strangers, they don’t really matter. Anyone who actually has kids would be saying a silent prayer in such a situation, that it’s you in the hot seat today. And the judgemental ones? Who needs them? Put them out of your mind and concentrate only on your kid.

These two stories will always remain close to my heart as I could connect with both on a personal level, Richa’s story is somewhat a reflection of what I had gone through, similar situations, same fears and then the moments of happiness and feeling blessed. Similarly, I can understand what Arushi wants to say through her story, my son has also entered that phase where sometimes his emotions take control of his mind.

There is so much positiveness in both the stories, how these mothers approached the difficult situations, fought the struggles and finally were able to win the battle with their faith and perseverance. Thanks, Richa and Arushi for sharing your inspirational stories with us!

This post was supposed to be the last post for The Mom Series but as we are getting so much love and huge response from you all, I may share some bonus posts in December as well though will not be able to continue the weekly motherhood stories. Why?

To know that, you will have to visit my Instagram page by clicking on this link – Growing with Nemit and check the latest post where I have mentioned my reasons. Do check that out!

And if you liked this post then don’t forget to share it! I would really appreciate that.

The post Motherhood Struggles Are Real – Success Stories of Strong Mothers appeared first on Growing With Nemit.

Ask a toddler if they want to go outside for a stroll, there can never be a ‘NO’ as an answer, you know why; because that place (outside of walls) is full of in numerous opportunities to explore, learn and have lots of fun. I am sure all parents will agree with me on this part about outdoor play as it’s so much necessary for kids of all ages for their health and all-round development. Toddlers have the energy level of an active volcano; you can’t hold them inside for long.

Now if you are a parent to a toddler, imagine a scene where your 2-year-old at home is being too cranky, crying and screaming for no reason (or for some lame reason), throwing the worst of tantrums and nothing seems to work for that moment. In such a situation, you would wish time to stop for a minute so that you can at least breathe a complete cycle of inhalation and exhalation. What could have worked in that situation is a scene change from being inside the house to go outside the house and letting your 2-year-old act in whatever manner he wants to? Because when your child is outside, he has more freedom and space to conduct his physical activities and use his brain in a more constructive way.

In young children, this love for outdoors comes very naturally to them.

But sometimes the situation is reversed where parents find it quite difficult to send or encourage their kids to play outside. Just because these kids get too dependent on screen media entertainment for their daily dosage of activities. Their mind gets tired but their physical energy remains unused. So, it’s very important to control and manage how kids spend their time. And parents must help them in making wise media choices. It is recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics to avoid the use of digital media in children younger than 18-24 months. To read more about this, you can check my blog post ‘Is Screen time educational or distracting?’- Click here!

Another issue which I have noticed with kids while in the playground is that they get easily bored after some time, instead of getting involved in constructive play they start losing interest and get more destructive, they get irritated and occasionally, indulge in little fights too. While most toddlers are accompanied by caretakers or parents but rarely they indulge in their play probably because they want them to be independent. But in my opinion, toddlers are still very young and need parent’s guidance even for such natural phenomenon as Play!

So, here I want to share my experience on how to make outdoor play more fun for toddlers.

1» Always look for a play space where there are kids older than your child (same age kids plus older kids is a plus point).

Why? Because toddlers are quite inquisitive and observant. And having a company of older kids helps them in building social skills. Just being around them can provide social and intellectual stimulation for younger minds.

But keep a limit to this playtime for say 10 minutes. As older kids might not find it helpful if a younger kid keeps bothering them with their play.

Also, this may not work with every kid; some children always look for the company in the same age group so it’s better to observe their behavior and then encourage them accordingly. Having older kids playing around always work better for us.

2» Provide a natural play area for your kid-

don’t look for safe or clean places once they are outside. Let them run on the rough ground if they like it and allow them to explore whatever messy surroundings they want to but be with them and guide if playing in that particular area can cause severe harm in any way.

The best and funniest part of playing outside is getting messy. Let them spoil their clothes; let them get sweaty and smeared in mud; just let them use their imagination and skill in a completely free way. Let them fall and rise on their own, getting hurt a little is part of free will outside play and let the injury marks speak that your child had fun outside the way he wanted.

There is not a single day without bruise marks on Nemit’s knees but we are happy with that. Nemit got featured in Babychakra’s article for Johnson’s- ‘Embrace the mess because cleaning is made easy now’.

3» Get involved in your child’s playtime–

very important point mostly overlooked by parents and caretakers, just don’t sit or stand in a corner with mobile in hands. Because this way you are just keeping an eye on your toddler but not being a part of his playtime which is actually what your kid want our time.

Toddlers still need their parents around; they feel secure and loved when parents show interest in what their kids are doing rather than just giving instructions. Run a little, laugh a lot, get bit messy too and then look at your child’s face for that divine smile of satisfaction.

This can be the best bonding time too. We have seen a big difference in Nemit’s behavior since we started getting involved in his play.

4» Learning life’s lessons while playing–

You can teach some important things to your child during this outdoor play time. You can start with Playtime limits while bringing your child out. Tell him that you will stay for 30 minutes or 1 hour and then we will head back home.

Many young kids show tantrums when they are asked to go back home. Initially, the child will not understand much neither he will pay any heed towards that. But if you will keep repeating the same thing daily, gradually he will start understanding the concept of time. And this will ultimately help in reducing the tantrums while going back home.

Then you can teach your tot about sharing toys. It is very normal for a kid to act too attached and emotional for his stuff. But, if he shows interest in other kid’s toys then you can gently introduce the concept of sharing things.

This is an ongoing learning process. We are done with setting play time and Nemit happily walks towards home when I say “it’s time to go back”. But it took us 2 weeks to reach at this understanding. We are working on sharing stuff with other kids.

5» Don’t let the outdoor play get boring–

It may never get boring for the kid but repeating the same activities and games daily can get monotonous for parents. So, to avoid getting it dull and boring, you can introduce new games or DIYs. This will keep the parents involved and kids happy.

Few ideas for making outdoor play fun can be Car wash, Water balloon play. Picking up dry trash on the way, collecting different shapes of stone, collecting leaves and twigs from the ground. Take the dog for a long walk, water the plants in the park, play and jump in puddles, etc. These are some activities we do during our play time outdoors.

You can add many more to the list; just keep your options open.

I hope this blog post helps parents to make play time for their kids more fun and engaging. Also, I want to know your views on this. How you are spending time outdoors, what activities you take part in, etc. Share some of your ideas here with us. I feel so loved reading your comments. Please do share our posts if you find them helpful, that is highly appreciated!

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The post Outdoor play- Keep these 5 things in mind- A Mother’s experience appeared first on Growing With Nemit.