I have never talked about such things until lately when most of my thoughts have become philosophical. Sometimes, I feel it’s the motherhood hormones which are still all over the place. But then I feel may be I am growing old and becoming wiser. Haha… Whatever it is, I like having these conversations with myself. Being happy or successful, what would I choose?

Success is quite luring but I fear it’s ephemeral, it doesn’t last long. It brings happiness which is also short lived. We all know, one can’t stay at the top for a longer time. And, when the downfall comes, it brings darkness with it. But does that mean one should never wish to be successful?

My heart says we should look out for happiness, it will show us the path to success. Our ultimate goal should be chasing happiness or dreams rather than success.

Being happy is the greatest form of success

And, you know the best thing about happiness, it’s everywhere around us. But we take it for granted.

PIN it!

When I started blogging in July 2017, I just wanted to prove myself that I still have that in me. And, I am not a lost soul, yet! I had no major expectations from it. And, I just wanted to be happy knowing that I’m doing something productive in my free time. (I bet most of the SAHM must have felt that)

Soon, people were liking my work, I was getting all the support in the world and I started getting paid collaborations only after 3 months into blogging. I was the happiest because my new found hobby was now giving me returns.

Would you believe me if I tell you that for the last three decades I had an impression that I have zero talents in me. I had been thrown out of dance and singing classes stating the same. But I always had a passion to learn new things, to do the impossible! And, I never stopped believing in myself though I need a push every now & then.

But, it is kind of fun to do the impossible! Isn’t it?

I know there are numerous people out there, who think they are useless. People who think they can’t do anything in their life. And, if I talk about new mothers who are right now struggling with this new phase. Some of you must be going through postpartum depression, others might be feeling like they are the most horrible mothers. And, many of you must be thinking that your life is over now. I know because I was this person once.

But, STOP! Stop thinking like that.

You are still the BEST because you are unique. There is no one else who can take your place. You have come to this world with a purpose which you need to figure out. Till then, you have to do what you are doing and believe in yourself that only you can do this. But, this is not all.

You have to keep dreaming & keep challenging yourself too. Because this is how you grow and this is how you find your purpose. Don’t stop believing in yourself because you too can do the impossible.

Find out what you want from your life, if it’s challenging, work a bit harder. Define shorter goals, celebrate small achievements. Look around yourself, there are many little happy moments waiting for you.

My ultimate goal is to be happy! And, I’m in no rush to be successful, I just don’t want to miss my happy moments.

Do you also indulge in such thoughtful conversations with yourself? What would you choose, being happy or successful? What’s your theory?

This post is part of the Weekly Blog Hop and is written on the Prompt- ‘It is kind of fun to do the impossible’. To read posts from other bloggers, follow the hashtag #WeeklyBlogHop on social media.

If you liked reading this post, do share it with others!

The post Being Happy or Successful, What would you choose? appeared first on Growing With Nemit.

Hey guys, it’s Monday and I am back with another set of power packed stories written by two strong mommies for our MAA – The Mom Series. Well, we all mothers know how pregnancy and delivery takes a toll on our health if not taken care of properly. We go through a lot many dilemmas when our life takes a totally new path and sometimes we are left with choices which are in fact the most difficult ones to make. Read the stories of moms who fought depression and weight gain with their strong will and determination.

Postpartum Depression “TEARS TO CHEERS”

– By Rupal Agarwal

It’s not at all easy for me to write this. I wanted to share my story written with my heart. No one had ever told me about postpartum depression during my whole pregnancy time. You can’t guess that the new mom is suffering from PPD just by looking at her.

The problem is that people have many expectations from a new mother and they think that those first days or weeks or even months after child’s birth should be the happiest days of a mother’s life. Yes, I was overwhelmed with love for ‘Prisha’ no doubt but at the same time, I didn’t want to see anyone during those initial days as I knew they would expect me to be the happiest glowing new mom, who’s ready to face the world but no, the reality was far from that.

Postpartum depression (PPD), also called postnatal depression, is a type of mood disorder associated with childbirth. Symptoms may include extreme sadness, low energy, anxiety, crying episodes, irritability, and changes in sleeping or eating patterns. Onset is typically between one week and one month following childbirth. PPD can also negatively affect the person’s child.

Source – Wikipedia

PPD occurred when I delivered my baby girl after 9 years of marriage, no it’s not because I delivered a girl child, but because of the pressure, I received from family members to feed the baby, which I couldn’t even after trying really hard. I wished someone could understand the emotions I was going through. I went into the black hole of depression that I stopped feeling my worth and just couldn’t connect with the baby.

I remember a visit from my sister and papa and that time I just wanted to run and hide somewhere, had an emotional breakdown for no obvious reason. There was a time when I had cried for days, every other relative visiting us to bless the baby just wanted to know whether I was feeding the baby or not and that would make me so sad as well as mad. I didn’t understand why everyone has to offer an advice. I am a mother and I know what my baby needs. If I am not able to breastfeed my baby, I will bottle feed but why every other person has to come and ask the same thing over and again.

I tell you this is a crazy world. But I have just one thing to say to them.

My baby – My choice. 

I was telling myself this is just the PPD and it will pass soon. But it was not that soon for us, I had a difficult time dealing with what I was going through. Looking at my baby gave me strength and confidence that every mother does the best for her baby and so was I. Maybe I am not a perfect mother, but I am trying to do my best for her. For the world, she may be 20 months old but for me, she is 29 months old, I know her since she was in my womb.

I hit the rock bottom, I wanted to feel better for my family, my husband and most importantly for my baby. I was telling myself daily that I am a strong lady and a good mother. I fed her with the bottle and loved her every day despite my anxiety.

I didn’t expect new motherhood to be such a wild wave of emotion, that is why I wanted to share my story here. I wish I gave myself a little more grace and didn’t put so much pressure on myself. It took me almost 1.5 years to share this very personal struggle with you all. I finally decided to open up in hope that I too can help at least one person who may be dealing with this disorder that is not often recognized.

There will be so many times you feel like you have failed but in the eyes, heart and mind of your child you are SUPER MOM!

Deliver the baby but not your health 

– By Rashmi Datta

It’s been 20months since I gave birth to a sweet little girl and time is passing like anything. My baby has turned into a beautiful angel, but am I as beautiful as I was pre-delivery?

It was 4th of July 2015, when I saw the two pink lines and trust me it was the happiest day of my life, my husband and I were on cloud nine. I had to leave my job in the first trimester due to official policies and then started the weight gain. I used to be at home all day resting and taking in high-calorie food which was full of tallow.

In our Indian culture, we are supposed to eat ghee, oil and dry fruits for normal delivery and also the intake go double as the elders keep saying “you have to eat for two now”. And the problem is you can’t even say no to them.

Now when the delivery goes normal, you are again forced to eat the same dishes full of ghee and loaded with sugar. My veggies and dal always used to have extra butter added to them, even my tea was made with full cream milk. When I saw myself in the mirror almost a week after my delivery, I realized how much weight I have gained and trust me that was disheartening because I myself didn’t like to see that fat over my body.

It was the moment when I decided what I want to do. On the 25th day after delivery, I stood up and started performing the household chores. I was too firm to get back into the shape, while most women aren’t bothered about it but for me, it was an alarming call. What I gathered was that there was just a need for some extra efforts from our end.

“Health is your biggest asset, if you stay fit and healthy you live long and happy”

Getting married at the age of 26 and delivering a baby at the age of 29 made me think that getting back to my beautiful self, was a far fledged dream now. But this trauma didn’t last for long. All the credit goes to my husband who is tall, lean, has abs and is diet conscious. He is my biggest motivation. I too wanted to look healthy and pretty hence I decided to dedicate some time to the workout. Henceforth I joined aerobics and yoga classes but it wasn’t that easy to leave the baby at home and go out especially when the baby is still on breastfeed and is always looking for you, this time support came in from my Mother-in-law who supported me by taking care of the baby when I went out. Moreover, she took my side by answering back the neighbors as well who would mock me for leaving the baby at home to go to the gym.

I was delighted when my gym trainer, a week ago, appreciated me for being a mother to a 20-months-old angel. His words that you don’t seem to be rearing a child since you look so fit and in shape, made me reach the seventh heaven. So all this has been keeping me motivated and at the end, I want to say “love yourself and people will love you back”.

Health is not about the weight you lose, but about the life you gain.

This week, we also have one fun contribution from a super lady who aspires to write fiction stories someday, she is not yet a mother but understands a lot about motherhood.

Mommy and Time Machines

– By Neetika Soam

Whenever a woman becomes a mother, she automatically becomes super-talented and comes under the super-goddess species. They know everything and they can do anything. Even the super-fast “BOLT” can’t beat them the way they have the power to smell, watch, hear, and numerous other things they can do in just a frame of time.

Though I am not a mother yet still I carry a handful of experience in my belly and all the credit goes to my super-mom-friends who are the source of my crunchy, utterly-buttery flavors of motherhood.

Usually, mothers get emotional while revisiting their kid’s childhood memories. But during those days, they also wanted to get rid of sleepless nights and edgy days. This is the reason why I think that TIME MACHINES are just perfect for our super-moms so that they can ditch those edgy moments and re-live the cutest & happiest ones.

Statements like, “O God I am tired of these mood swings”. And after 9 months, “O god I love my little monster”.

And like these, “Can someone take this little one away for a while so that I can take my power nap”. And the very next moment, “where are they, where are my kids?”.

Now imagine if we give them a “Time Machine” to relive the best memories. Scenario would be like – “Aji sunte ho mujhe gudiya ki bahut yaad aa rahi hai, mein kuch waqt time machine me hoke aati hun” (I am missing my girl a lot, oh I should go in the time machine for some time and will be back soon)

I hope one day this would be possible and we all can re-visit our sweetest moments spent with our kids.

I totally loved reading these stories and once again I have got inspired by these moms to keep going in life, to stay positive and think about our health too for the sake of our kids and family.

Thanks a lot, Rupal, Rashmi and Neetika for taking out time and sharing your write-ups with me. Means a lot!

Mothers can not give from a depleted source. Every mother needs emotional, mental, physical and spiritual validation, nourishment and support. When a mother is respected and well cared for, she and her whole family will benefit. 

I hope you are liking this series and getting inspired by the beautiful stories shared by the lovely mommies. Do leave a comment below to show your love and support. And do come back next Monday to read the last set of stories for this month!

The post Mother’s health after childbirth – Stories of strong will and determination appeared first on Growing With Nemit.

The prompt for today’s post is ‘The First Year of My Baby’ and this is my favorite among all the prompts till now as it was the time that changed me completely for good of course. The eventful year made me understand what exactly motherhood is all about. They say you need to be in the shoes of the mother to actually experience what she goes through and that’s what happened with me.

It brings me immense pleasure to share that I, along with 24 other bloggers are celebrating #9daysofwomanhood throughout Navratri. I thank Gagandeep Kochar for introducing me. Her blog is named as My Diaries and I loved reading her blog on the prompt for today ‘First year of my baby‘.

So, I am done with 9 months of pregnancy and 16 hours of delivery and now is the time to do some Bhangra, yay, my baby is out and in my arms and everything will go smoothly as I had wished for, poor mommy brain thinking like all the work is over and now the time is to be back to your old self.

How wrong I was, those long feeding hours started taking a toll on my health, I was sleep deprived to the extent that I fell off the bed twice because I refused to lie down and wanted to keep sitting for the next feeding session, those endless peeing, pooping, cleaning and washing made me felt as if these were going to be my best skills to be stated to others in future.

I describe my baby’s first year as 4 trimesters outside the tummy, into the real world – 1 to 3 months, 4 to 6 months, 7 to 9 months and 10 to 12 months! And today I will share some snippets from each, maybe you (expecting ladies and new mothers) can take some hints and prepare yourself accordingly. Rest others can enjoy reading it!

Trimester – 1

(0-3 months old)

I describe these 3 months as Depressive, I suffered Post Partum Depression from Day 1 we stepped inside the house. It was already the baby’s third day and I was longing for my 8 hrs of sleep but realized that no one could help me in that now. I was given many instructions to be followed for my baby’s health and that included remaining inside the room for 40 days. Then after a week, I felt like a useless machine which was done with its job of producing the baby and now no one needed it. All the attention was showered on the new member. At one moment, I hated my baby for coming into our lives and I blamed him for everything that was happening to me.

Thankfully, Sumit, my husband, noticed the change in my behavior and decided to find out the reason. He asked me, ‘Are you ok, want to talk to me?’ I cried hysterically, the baby started competing with my howls and he cried even louder. And, I told my hubby, how I was feeling neglected, no one was interested to talk to me, to ask me if I needed anything, they were just giving me instructions to get me complete my motherly duties. I expressed my hatred towards that little being and how I was planning to run away leaving the newborn behind.

Are you a new mother? Do you feel the same as I felt? Please talk to someone. Don’t keep things in your mind and don’t assume anything. There are people around you who are your family and they love you. It’s just the faulty hormones that are playing weird And once you discuss your feelings and express your emotions, you will start loving yourself back!

Sometimes, these emotions are nothing but ‘baby blues‘ which typically go away after a week or two. But if that still persist, then you may want to know more about PPD. The depression is very common among new mothers, and its effects can be felt during the first 3 weeks after childbirth. There are treatments available to bring you back to your normal self, but I would suggest talking to someone close and whom you trust the most before considering treatment.

Speaking with my husband worked for me, can work for you too. But, if there is no one who is able to understand you, please take the help of a specialist. Again counseling is what I would suggest before directly starting with medications, so you can consider meeting a Therapist too. By the 2nd month, you will start loving yourself and your baby. And by that time baby will also start babbling, cooing and responding to sounds, which make the experience a lot more fun.

We followed a trend of celebrating our marriage anniversary every month by cutting a cake or having something sweet to eat. Hence, we decided to follow the same for our baby’s monthly birthdays.

I spent the 2nd month in online shopping, buying everything which I thought our baby might need, I bought a cot, a rocker, a pram, a baby carrier, lots of toys, a baby gym, diaper bags, different types of diapers and cloth nappies, every new style of clothes and shoes, bathing tub, fancy quilts and blankets, nursery items and what not. It was my wrong decision and I accept that. My baby made his first ever road trip from Delhi to Amritsar during his 2nd month which was a total fun outing.

You may want to read this article, Must have items for your baby, where I have prepared a list of things which we found really helpful and useful for our baby.

Now came the 3rd month, the baby started looking bigger and acting smart, all the clothes bought in the previous month were not fitting him well and the toys were not as exciting for him the way we expected. He was responding to our facial expressions, would smile and babble as if responding back to us. He started liking his massage time, bath time and tummy time. But, what followed in between all these were the Growth Spurts.

During a growth spurt, your baby will put on weight, reach developmental milestones, feed more, and sleep more or less than usual. Please note, this period can range from few days to few weeks. While we were struggling to understand the pee poo session and colic bombardments, we were hit by these growth spurts.

I have written this article, Do you know what Growth Spurts are? where I have mentioned how you can tell that baby is going through one of these episodes.

Trimester – 2

(3-6 months old)

This is my favorite trimester, the baby finally got a nickname, Noyi, as suggested by his Papa, earlier he had as many names as there were members of the family, everyone had their own favorite name. From this month, Noyi developed a sleep pattern during the day, he would take 3 naps which meant a lot of time for myself.

He started holding his neck for few seconds which was a milestone, he started using his whatever power he had to try to roll over which was again a milestone, his teething phase started as he would drool a lot and most of the times spent hours chewing on his frozen teethers. He loved to shake his rattles and smiling to their sound. There was so much to capture during this month and I loved every minute spent with my baby.

But, the month also brought unwanted advice from elders in the family’ to start the bottle feed as per them the baby was growing and not getting his daily requirements from my milk. That made me furious and mad and I would fight and reason with them but to no use. I had to go invisible for a couple of months just for the sake of my own sanity.

Noyi started crawling during his 5th month.

Although he was still not able to sit on his own, he liked crawling backward and tried to stand just like we elders do. This was the time when we prepared a separate room for him, completely baby proofed, we placed the mattress on the ground and ditched the bed just to avoid any falls, also this was necessary to avoid getting him near to Caesar as Caesar had still not accepted Noyi as part of his pack.

Next month was special. We arranged a family get-together to celebrate our baby’s first 6 months. That day Noyi surprised us by sitting on his own, unassisted. New milestone reached.

Trimester – 3

(6-9 months old)

Next 3 months were beautiful, Noyi had started recognizing me and he was expressing different emotions. It was fun to watch him grow and learn. He developed a liking for songs. His favorite one was ‘If you are happy and you know it‘ and we would play peek-a-boo a lot. The first day after his 6th month birthday, we introduced solid food. And to our surprise, he loved having something that tasted different from breastmilk. It was pure bliss watching him slurp his 1st meal, which was just 3 spoonful of mashed dal!

This was my Birthday month and we planned a trip to Goa, which happened to be Noyi’s first flight, first beach visit, first drenching in rain, first pool dip, first tasting outside food and sprouting first set of teeth. We soon realized Noyi is just like his parents and grandparents who love to travel to new places and meeting new people.

Next 2 months involved lots of new activities which I used to search over the net to make the growing process fun and exciting. These months were also the bonding months for Caesar and Noyi, gradually Caesar developed a liking for Noyi.

You may find this post interesting as I have shared a few tips on Let your baby explore!

Trimester – 4

(9-12 months old)

The past 9 months passed really fast. The next 3 months were for me like I was on a watcher’s duty. The baby was quite mobile and there was no way to stop him from moving around the house. And explore any and every new thing that came in his reach.

Noyi wanted to stand and walk unassisted but he was clearly not ready. And we had to witness a lot of falls. He liked climbing up the sofa, chasing Caesar, pulling his ears. And sometimes would try to chew his tail too.

I want to mention here, we never followed any rituals or practices in the name of tradition. Neither had any other so-called beliefs, we did not know what is Nazar utarna, never did that. We did not believe in the power of black tika and black threads, never used them.

We never used anything to assist easy teething. Luckily, we had a smooth teething phase without using any Tilsmi moti or giving any calcium tablets. And Noyi turned out just fine. He did not fell sick even once during his first 11 months.

It was just before his first birthday, he caught a cold for the first time. As per our pediatrician, getting common cold is actually good for improving baby’s immunity. We followed her advice and didn’t give any medicine to treat it. And to our surprise, he was back to normal within a week. That day we decided to keep the use of medicines as limited as possible. We only used the saline nasal drops and gave steam to provide relief from blockage.

Next month, Noyi was going to complete his 1st year outside the tummy, and that called for A Celebration. And for that, we planned a trip to Malaysia to make his birthday a memorable one. On his D-day, we spent the whole day at an Amusement cum Water Park. And, yet again Noyi surprised us by walking for the first time. Yes, Noyi walked for the first time unassisted on his 1st birthday on some other country’s land. And since then, there is no stopping him!!!

To read the story of 9 months, My Pregnancy, Click here!

To read further about the Pain that brought a Smile, My Delivery, Click here!

And if you liked reading this post, do drop a few words in the comments section below. And feel free to Share this post with your friends and family!

Now, I would like you to meet Sumira Bhatia, my friend, and co-blogger who blogs at The Cuckoo’s Nest. Read her blog on today’s prompt, The Beginning of a Journey! to know about Uday’s first 5 months and read some awesome tips from mommy.

The post Four Trimesters Outside the Tummy – My Baby’s First Year appeared first on Growing With Nemit.