Hi everyone, does it feel like time is racing by this year? Just a few days ago, it was the first day of 2024 and today we’re celebrating Valentine’s Day. And tomorrow, I’ll be celebrating my 9th marriage anniversary. Almost a decade! Today, I am excited to share my journey of finding my soulmate, my forever.

It still feels like a dream; I can’t believe it’s been 9 long years. Each anniversary, I find myself telling my husband that it’s unbelievable our marriage has lasted this long. I never imagined that an arranged marriage could endure in today’s world, where even love struggles to stand the test of time. Nowadays, we have the option to voice our concerns and walk out of a marriage if things feel off. It’s easier to break than to mend, and we often lack the mental capacity to deal with complicated situations. But ours has stood strong and I give the credit to my husband for that.

Many of my friends used to say I was lucky to find such an amazing partner like Sumit (my husband). But I always told them it wasn’t just luck; I fought a long battle to find the right person for me.

In our society, young girls are often made to believe that they don’t have a choice and should settle for whatever comes their way. This mindset is flawed!

I challenged that notion and fought for what I truly deserved!

In the first part of this series, “Finding Love in Arranged Marriage”, I shared my ordeal of meeting with families to find a perfect partner for marriage.

In the second part, I ventured into the unknown in a quest for “Finding My Jeevansathi on Jeevansathi dot com.”

Now, let’s dive into the final chapter of this short series on marriage and love. As I mentioned in my last post, Sumit and I officially began dating on 15th September 2014.

Initially, we only met on Sundays but after a few weeks, we started meeting on Saturdays too. We’d spend the whole day together, hopping from one cafe to another with endless conversations. It’s incredible how quickly we became comfortable with each other as if the universe was paving the way for us. I wanted to truly know and understand him before committing to marriage and I wanted him to do the same.

First, I confirmed if what he had mentioned in his Jeevansathi profile was correct. His love for adventure and travel was the first thing I had noted in his bio. After a few meetings, I found out that he was also a foodie, just like me.

I tested him in various ways to get to know him better, to see his true nature and how he acted and reacted in tense situations. This is something young couples often overlook in their partners because they are so deeply in love. However, once the initial lovey-dovey feelings fade, they often feel clueless about their partner. That’s when the problems start! I didn’t want to take that chance.

We hear a lot about green flags and red flags nowadays. I wasn’t aware of these terms back then but I’m glad I’ve been successful in finding a partner with all green flags.

October 2014 – Finding My Soulmate

It was 4th Oct, a Saturday, when my mom said, ‘Let’s go and meet Sumit at his place.’

I was taken aback! It was unplanned and my mother asked me to confirm with him if we could visit. I could sense his surprise at this sudden request but he agreed nonetheless. At that time, he was living in Noida, sharing an apartment with his friends.

It was such an awkward meeting but he was a gracious host, making us comfortable and even brewing up some chai, which I instantly fell in love with. To this day, he makes chai for me every morning without fail.

Our journey together is filled with countless memories, from our first selfie to birthday celebrations and family meetings. What I loved most about his family was their warmth and acceptance, without any expectations or demands.

You might be thinking that I must have fallen in love with him by then. But no, I didn’t!

I can’t explain why but the feeling just wasn’t there.

And that began to bother me. I started finding fault in everything. I realized that despite our shared interests, our personalities were quite different. This led to clashes of ideas. One day, I became furious over something and told him I didn’t want to continue the relationship.

Somewhere in my mind, I knew I was wrong but didn’t want to admit it. Love had found me but I kept running away.

It was during this time that he saw my other side, my worst side. He could have easily accepted the breakup then; it wasn’t too late. But he stayed. He helped me open up, he listened and we talked. That day, for the first time, I felt a strong connection with him.

On 12th November 2014, we had the Roka ceremony.

Soon after, the elders finalized the wedding date, 15th February 2015, which felt too soon to me. I asked for more time but nobody listened. This time, I didn’t force and went with the flow.

We planned our wedding together, went shopping and visited venues. We embarked on a hunt to find the perfect wedding rings for us. Those three months flew by in a jiffy but they left us with many sweet memories to cherish forever.

Memories 2014

In my quest for finding love and companionship, I stumbled upon something truly remarkable – a soulmate. He isn’t just a partner to me; he’s the missing piece of my soul, completing me in ways I never imagined. With him, I’ve found more than just a lover; he’s my confidant, my friend and someone who truly understands me.

It took me some years to fall in love with him. But our relationship is not just about love, it’s about understanding, respect and mutual support. It’s about weathering the storms together, celebrating the victories, and being there for each other through thick and thin. Our bond is strengthened by laughter, shared dreams and the countless memories we’ve created over the years.

This doesn’t mean we don’t have disagreements, misunderstandings and conflicts. But we’ve learned to communicate openly, to compromise and to grow together as individuals while also growing as partners. Our relationship is a journey of discovery, constantly evolving and deepening as we navigate life’s ups and downs hand in hand.

Some people find their soulmate in a friend or in a lover or in a sibling or in a parent or in their partner. I found my soulmate in my husband. Reflecting on our journey, I am grateful for every twist and turn that led us to where we are today. 

If you are someone who is on a quest for finding a Jeevansathi or embarking on a new relationship, remember to cherish every moment, embrace the journey and trust that the universe will guide you to the right person at the right time. Trust in the power of love and connection! Here’s to finding your soulmate, your forever and creating a love story that’s uniquely yours.

~A message for my soulmate~

Happy 9th anniversary, baby!🧿 So, this year, I’m not going to ask you how we are able to come this far. Now, I’m looking forward to our 10th, 15th, 25th, 50th anniversary and already planning how we are going to celebrate our special days.

Whenever I close my eyes and imagine us in the future, when we get old, very old may be in our 70s, I see us sitting near a beautiful beach looking at the sunrise hand in hand. Then you ask me to go for a walk along the beach and I hesitate and resist but then give you my hand. You help me get up and we hold our canes and take baby steps towards the ocean, reminiscing about the wonderful journey we’ve had together and feeling grateful for every moment we’ve shared. I pray to God everyday to make it happen.

You’ve broken all the bad stereotypes a man carries with him, you’re not just an amazing partner but also a wonderful father. Men like you need to be protected and celebrated at all cost. I’m super proud of you and I love you more than words can express.🧿

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This blog post is part of the blog challenge ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’ hosted by Cindy D’Silva and Noor Anand Chawla in collaboration with Mads’ Cookhouse.

The post Finding My Soulmate: A Journey to Forever | Part 3 appeared first on Growing With Nemit.

Hello lovely people, how’s February treating you? Since this is the month of love and also my anniversary month, I wanted to share my unconventional arranged marriage story with you all. In the first part of this post, “Finding Love in Arranged Marriage,” I shared my ordeal of meeting with families to find a perfect partner for marriage. It was quite a daunting task for me and even more distressing for my parents. Today, I am sharing this story of finding my Jeevansathi on Jeevansathi dot com. 

Yesterday was Rose Day, the first day of Valentine’s week! I almost forgot about it this year. But as I opened my eyes in the morning, I saw my husband standing near the bed with a cute bouquet of roses in his hands. My son was also there with him, trying to understand what was going on. Even though my excitement for the love month is fading with age, my husband remembers how this time of year used to make me go crazy with excitement. It was a sweet surprise that made butterflies flutter in my tummy once again. It also made me wonder, does this count as true love?

This took me down memory lane, to the time when I had almost given up on the idea of finding the right match for me, let alone finding love. But it found me. Let me take you on this adventure of how I found my Jeevansathi (life partner) on Jeevansathi dot com.

Finding Jeevansathi

As I was working with a company in Gurgaon at the time, we would only get the weekends to discuss this topic. My parents tried everything to make me understand the importance of marriage. It was like a tug of war, with me trying to live my life in the present and my parents worrying about my future. Then, there came a saturation point when I told them that I would marry anyone they would choose for me without asking any questions.

You know what that meant? It meant I just wanted to get it over with as I couldn’t take it anymore. I started binge-eating and losing my sleep. Within two months, I gained almost 7 kgs. I was always in a depressed mood and I stopped going out on the weekends too. In short, I was losing it!

There’s a pattern I have noticed in my life since childhood. Whenever I hit my lowest, I get this energy to start all over again. An invisible hand holds me and walks me to the right path. Does it happen with you too?

I had understood one thing by then; I could not escape marriage. While I thought I had agreed to what my parents wanted, I had actually made their task much more difficult. No parent can see their child suffering. And, similarly, no child can see their parents helpless.

Then came a day when I sat down with my mother and made a complete plan of how to go about it.

The first task was to take control of my life, my health and my mind. And, to do that I took 3 major steps:

• I left my job (as it was taking all my time & energy)

• Made a profile on Jeevansathi.com (as I wanted to try a different approach)

• Joined swimming, aerobics and yoga classes (as I had to get back my health)

I set a target; by the end of 2014, I would find a man to call mine.

Now, I was spending most of my time on the matrimony website. Within a few weeks, I became a pro in shortlisting and interacting with potential profiles. I knew exactly what to ask for them to move on to the next level. It may sound like HR shortlisting candidates for a job. But it was much more serious than that.

I had made a rule that I would first chat with the person online for a week or two. If everything felt good, then I would move to calls and next to meeting. But I was looking for a person who could make his own decisions. Someone who is progressive in their thinking, mature and dependable. Most importantly, someone whose family listens to them and respects them.

On 28th August 2014, I got a request on my Jeevansathi profile. It was a perfect match as per the website.

I followed the next steps, chatted with the person for a week to understand what he was looking for in his future partner. When I felt this could be taken ahead, I showed the profile to my mother.

After that, we started talking on the phone, and it just clicked. After 15 days, we decided to meet. For our first meeting, I brought my mother along, just in case. I still remember that day clearly; we went to Moti Mahal Delux and ordered some snacks. He seemed confident meeting a girl and her mother for the first time, all alone. I liked that!

My mother was happy!

On the other hand, I was super nervous; couldn’t even talk properly, couldn’t even take a bite of food.

I couldn’t understand what was happening to me. No, it was not love at first sight! For sure 😀

Or, was it? I am still not sure, haha!

Anyways, that meeting was successful. Now, we started meeting every weekend. We were dating!

True love is elusive. Love never comes walking towards you. Some people may stumble upon it by chance but even then, they have to nurture it to see it grow. What do you think?

I don’t know if matrimonial websites still work or not in finding the right alliance, but it worked for me!

If you think the story ends here, you are wrong. We had a breakup-like situation just a month into the courtship period. Who was at fault? Stay tuned to find out!

This is my story of finding a Jeevansathi; want to share yours?

This blog post is part of the blog challenge ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’ hosted by Cindy D’Silva and Noor Anand Chawla in collaboration with Bohemian Bibliophile.

The post Finding My Jeevansathi on Jeevansathi dot com | Part 2 appeared first on Growing With Nemit.

Hello lovely people! This is the month of ‘Love’ and just like January (my son’s birthday month), February is also my favorite month of the year. Nah, not because of the Valentine’s day! But because of my Marriage day! Strange, isn’t it? In Feb 2015, I got married to the person who still makes me fall in love with him again and again. But guess what? It was not Love at first sight! And, of course, it was not a love marriage! It’s strange how some people come into our life and then become our everything. Here’s our story of finding love in an arranged marriage!

I don’t usually write on such topics, but this month, I want to explore my love for blogging and writing. While crafting a blog, I focus on what my readers would want to read and what content they would find helpful or interesting. Mostly, I share valuable information for parents to make their lives easier. However, this month, I want to write for myself. Although I could write it in a personal journal, I also want to make it public. In today’s world, arranged marriages are often looked down upon and finding love can seem too challenging. I want to put this out there before the notion of arranged marriages becomes extinct.

Image Source: listen2guruji.files.wordpress.com/

Also, since I’m participating in #WriteAPageADay with Blogchatter, these posts/entries would be a perfect fit. I have the freedom to write anything I want! Yippee!!!

So, let’s go back to 2014 when my parents were making my life difficult by pestering me to get married. I was 28 years old, pretty frustrated with the whole idea of marriage. No, wait! Not with the concept of marriage but how things are made difficult for a girl by the prospective groom’s family.

You may also read: Reasons I am Happy & Proud of Being a Housewife!

I had already met and said ‘no’ to a few boys by then not because I didn’t like the person but simply because of the expectations their family had from me.

Finding Love: The Arranged Way

One family told me I would have to keep my head covered and eyes down after marriage whenever there will be someone around. That was a shocking demand in the name of respect. I told them I would respect them but I want to keep my head high. They didn’t like that!

Another family was quite religious; they found some fault in my kundli. They wanted me to follow certain rituals, wear some rings, visit the temple every day to ward off the negativity from my stars. I wanted to understand how me doing all this could help their family. I questioned, they got offended!

You may also read: Hey Women! You are no less.

There was one well off family, who didn’t want any dowry from my family. But they said, they wouldn’t stop my parents if they want to give any gifts to their daughter; things that would make me feel comfortable in their home. I told them I don’t really like gifts and their ego got hurt!

Then there were boys who behaved like a puppet in front of their families, expecting me to become a puppet too. No way was I going to marry a man child!

Now, after a decade, I can say I did the right thing. I feel proud of myself for not falling into the guilt trap of ‘ladkiyon ko karna padta hai, sun na padta hai’ (girls have to agree to what their would be in-laws want).

I feel being a single child, I was given a lot of liberty to make my own decisions. But when you are in your late late 20s, and you exhibit all the qualities of being a rebel, it makes your parents deeply concerned.

At that time, it was difficult for me to understand the reason for their worry. Because I was happily living in my house with my family, without any restrictions and financially independent too. There were no rules and regulations for me. I was a free bird!

You may also read: My Life, My Rules – Being a woman in India!

Why would anyone want to leave all this and start over again?

LOVE!!!

Love is the only thing that can make you do things you never wanted to do. Agree?

Yet, love is often overrated! It has to be unconditional to last forever, much like a mother’s love for her child.

But can you really find such love in a marriage?

What are your thoughts on this?

Did I find my true love?

Read Part 2 here – Finding My Jeevansathi on Jeevansathi dot com

This post was created for the Blogaberry Creative (Monthly) Challenge.

This blog post is also part of the blog challenge ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’ hosted by Cindy D’Silva and Noor Anand Chawla in collaboration with Bohemian Bibliophile.

The post Finding Love in Arranged Marriage: 9 Years of Love and Laughter | Part 1 appeared first on Growing With Nemit.