Travelling has always been an inherent part of every person’s life. It allows people to make some beautiful memories that they can cherish forever. And, what’s better than cherishing these travel memories with your loved ones by making a fascinating travel video, right? However, creating high-quality, engaging videos is what many people struggle with. So how to turn a family vacation and moments into a film you’d like to see again and again? 

If you are also looking for answers to this question, you are right. Whether you are planning a family trip to the mesmerizing beaches or mountain hiking, here are some tips you must follow to make an amazing travel video from your family vacation. 

Use the Right Filming Equipment 

While it is okay to use a smartphone to film a vacation video on your smartphone, you must invest in a DSLR camera or an HD Camcorder if you want to create a professional-looking video or if you plan to create multiple video transitions. If you are moving to a holiday destination that needs a durable camera more appropriate for a tough environment, it is better to purchase an action camera.

In addition, if you have the funds available and ample space in your luggage, you can also carry a drone camera. It will help you take the cinematic aerial footage and will be a great addition to your holiday movie!

Photo by Ben Griffiths on Unsplash

Do Not Shoot Everything You See

It is common for every person to feel like capturing every minute of their family vacation. However, you must understand that not every minute of your holiday might be fascinating to film and watch again and again. Thus, to steer clear of the trouble of undergoing hours of editing, it is prudent that you film only some parts of your vacation. 

Furthermore, it is better to use the parts you will most likely use when making the final edit while making your videos perfect using a video maker. Another reason you must restrict your video filming is because you will hardly get any time to enjoy your trip with your family. 

Try to Interview Your Family Members and Local People 

Recording what you are witnessing and experiencing during your family holiday is amazing, but what about what you think and feel about your vacation? Therefore, it is essential to create a well-rounded video that flawlessly sums up your family vacation by taking some vlog-like interviews with your family members! 

Photo by Larry Crayton on Unsplash

So during your family vacation, take some time to ask your family members about how they feel, what they love the most, and other related things. Furthermore, to make your video more engaging, it is better to shoot interview videos of the locals (especially when you are traveling to a foreign country). 

Think About the Story You Would Like to Convey.

If you aspire to make your travel video look cinematic, it is necessary to think about the story you would like to convey. You might begin with why you have selected this particular destination for your family vacation. If this is somehow connected to your childhood memories, filming old photo collections with your childhood photographs in that very destination might be a pleasant backdrop for the upcoming video.

Build Diverse Footage for your Travel Video

When filming a family vacation video, it is always better to experiment with the perspectives and angles to make your video more diverse. If you have a DSLR camera, a camcorder, or a drone, it is prudent to use them to capture spectacular bird’s-eye videos of the area or fantastic hues of the corals and fish you’ll glimpse under the water. These travel videos can serve exceptionally to shoot beautifully in various places. 

You can likewise broaden your videos by shooting quick clips and creating images that you can add to the final editing. For example, shoot some exotic birds or the tides moving onto the seashore or some close-up photos of the residents with an impressive appearance. Such small details will let your video show the destination’s surroundings agreeably.

Remember That Video Is Always About Motion. 

Motion is the only thing that makes travel video different from travel photography. Shooting stationary constructions is tedious and meaningless as you can reasonably give the area’s surroundings via the picture.

Also, take care that you use a video transition to make your video look more engaging and well-connected. You can also film your loved ones enjoying the beach waves, your parents dancing or any other funny moments that will help you relive those memories later. 

Try to Get Some Variety in Your Videos. 

Give your vacation videos some variety (how you film them and what you are trying to shoot) to make them seem less like a home film and more like a perfect documentary! For example, if you are on a family vacation in Spain or Mauritius, do not simply shoot stunning pictures of the equatorial panorama or video of your children making a sandcastle at the beach. 

Photo by Dave Hoefler on Unsplash

Furthermore, you must try to include a broad assortment of other images. Such as, tape selfies in front of an impressive background or a creative clip of the tides hitting against the coast. Or, simply a short clip of the seashell you found in the sand. In addition, building unconventional videos like these will assist you in better incorporating more details into your video and make it the perfect picture of your holiday.

Furthermore, it is advisable to shoot your video from diverse angles to make it look more engaging. It is where a drone or an action camera will come in handy since they can make it feasible to shoot from an aerial stance or even underwater.

Connect Your Videos in a Meaningful Way

This is likely one of the most difficult and time-consuming aspects, even when editing a travel video with the most seamless online video maker. Most family vacation videos look like random pictures and videos joined together with no meaning or narrative behind them, which is okay. However, if you plan to make a great travel video that you want to cherish for a lifetime, it is better to ensure that the video clips remain connected. 

The Bottom Line

To sum up, we can say that making beautiful videos is an art. And, you will need some time to master it, just like any other art. It is more like a trial and error process that concerns experimenting and failures. So when you want to create stunning videos of your family vacation, never be afraid to experiment. Grab your camera at any moment that seems crucial for you and your loved ones. And, record your emotions to relive them later.

This is a Guest Post.

The post How to Make An Amazing Travel Video From Your Family Vacation? appeared first on Growing With Nemit.

Hello everyone, today I am sharing some fun and interesting brain-boosting games for young children that can be played indoors. You know what, even the adults can join the kids and enjoy these activities.  And, the best part about these games is that they are not just fun but they also help in cognitive enhancement. Just like our bodies need exercise for proper functioning, our brain also needs exercise to improve memory, focus, and concentration.

I have already talked about the importance of cognitive milestones in early childhood and how the stimulation activities and environment play an important role in the brain development of babies and toddlers.

Outdoor Activity

The corona cases have reduced drastically in number and we have allowed our kids to go outside to play and meet with their friends. The outdoor activities and playtime are back. I feel this is the best thing that has happened to kids after seeing such a bad time this year.

But, with schools still closed, kids are spending most of their time at home in front of the screens be it for online learning, online gaming, or online entertainment.

You may also read – How to make Young Kids pay Attention during Online Classes?

Online Learning

And, that’s why it is one of the biggest challenges for many parents to keep their little ones happily engaged and away from screens. So, I thought why not share a few games for young kids that will not just keep them away from the screens but will also enhance their cognition. These 5 games/activities are my son’s favourite hence sharing them in this post. I am sure your kids will also enjoy playing these.

You may also read – 6 Fun Activities with Family at Home

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5 Brain-Boosting Games & Activities

1 – Jenga

So, the game on the top of our list is Jenga. Why?

Because it’s fun to play, it can be played in many ways and it also tickles your brain. It not only uses your physical skills but also needs a lot of mental skills.

Jenga is all about the blocks. First, you need to build the tower using wooden blocks. Then you take turns pulling just the right block. The tower might wobble, but you are still in the game if the tower doesn’t fall. As the blocks head for the sky, the suspense grows. Keep the blocks balanced, and you win!

Playing Jenga

Though this game is meant for ages 6 years and above as mentioned on its box, I believe introducing Jenga to your 4-year-old is a much better idea. They may not play it as it’s meant to be played but it can serve as a great stacking and balancing block game for them.

Not just that, playing Jenga can help improve hand-eye coordination, fine motor skills & cognitive performance. And above all, it’s a great game that can be played by the whole family together.

2- Word Search Puzzle

Next on the list of brain-boosting games is the word search puzzle game. It’s a wonderful game for children to help them improve their vocabulary & spelling.

Word Search Puzzle

Word puzzles not just help boost working memory but helps in quick thinking too. Such games help to improve a child’s processing speed & also encourages a healthy sense of competition.

You can introduce this activity to kids once they are done with letter sounds and are ready to make words. Start with 2-letter words and gradually move on to bigger words & grids.

Later, you can give them other word games like Crossword & Unscramble.

3- Dumb Charades as Brain-boosting Game

The 3rd game on our list of brain-boosting games is Dumb charades. We all have played this game especially the song & movie version and we know how much fun & exciting it can be. So, why not introduce our little ones to this game at an early age.

We just have to make it age-appropriate by choosing the right categories to enact. When we play this game with our son, we choose the things we see around us to act out so that it would be relatable & easy for him to guess.

We have so much fun whenever we play dumb charades with Nemit, time just flies away. Your kids can also play this game virtually with their friends.

4- Building Vocabulary

Next comes a fun yet challenging vocabulary game, this is our version of the game Word After Word. To play this game, first, you need to choose a category like fruits or animals, or vehicles. Then the players have to go word after word after word from the chosen category until there are no more words left. The last person to say the word is the winner.

You don’t need anything to play this game & it can be played anywhere. We love to play this game while travelling too especially during long road trips. It keeps our son occupied for a long time.

5 – Snakes & Ladders

And the last game on our list is the favorite of all, snakes & ladders. It’s a great game that can help a lot in developing early math skills in young children. They can learn so much about numbers like counting, sequencing & addition. Moreover, it’s a classic and never gets old, so why not introduce this fun game to our kids.

Check out this video to see how we play these brain-boosting games with our son.

So, that’s all for this blog. I hope you enjoy playing these games with your kids. See you next time.

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Alexa Rank

I am taking my blog to the next level with Blogchatter’s My Friend Alexa.

My theme for #MyFriendAlexa is All under one roof called Parenting. And, this is my 6th post under the category Fun & Learning #BrainBoostingGames.

You may check out my other Alexa posts, here.

If you liked this post, please do share it with your friends and family. Thank you!

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Hello every one, here’s the second post of the blog series – The ‘Un’-common Tales of common people. This post is shared by a very good friend of mine, Megha Arora. I truly appreciate her for being real and talk about her struggles. She has shared her secret of being a happy mother. And I am sure her tips to ‘rediscover yourself after having a baby’ will help a lot of new mothers out there.

You may also read – Being happy or successful, what would you choose?

Now, a little something about this blog series. I strongly believe that each one of us has a ‘voice’ that can make an impact, the ‘power’ to inspire others and the ‘experience’ that could help someone else. But not everyone has a platform to reach out to others and share their experiences with them. Hence, this series, where you will get to read the ‘Un’- common tales of common people who have the power to inspire and bring the change. This series is a small token of thanks to those people who have always supported me in my journey.

You may read the first post of the series here – Take professional help!

If you, too, have been a part of our blog’s journey and wish to be a part of this series, you can reach out to me on Instagram. No bloggers, please!

Now, let’s read Megha’s post.

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How to rediscover yourself after having a baby?

Having a baby through c-section was not easy for me. I was taking prenatal yoga sessions to prepare myself mentally and physically for the delivery. But I was shocked to know that it will be a cesarean delivery. I was 26 years old when I had my son. I was a happy, nervous, and physically weak mom. As I belong to a joint family, I had a lot of pressure as a daughter in law, wife, and most importantly, as a mother.

You may also read – 5 reasons I am happy & proud of being a housewife!

Those 45 days were the toughest days of my life as I was going through a lot of physical changes. I was suffering from backache, acidity, anxiety, sleepless nights, and mood swings. And, I started missing my old carefree life. But these four things helped me to rediscover myself.

4 Ways to Rediscover Yourself after having a Baby

1 – Start giving time to yourself

Picture by Megha Arora

Taking care of kids, 24/7 is not an easy job for any mother. There was that feeling of getting trapped inside a black hole; I was losing myself. But I had to do something for my well being. So, I started pampering myself with DIY masks, weekly massages, visiting the salon, cooking healthy meals to recover what was lost.

2 – Workout and Exercise to rediscover yourself

Picture by Megha Arora

I started feeling conscious about my body, belly pouch, stretch marks, and sagging breasts. It seemed impossible to get back to my pre-pregnancy body. So, I decided to hit the gym, and I started with light workout and yoga sessions. I completely cut out the sugar from my diet and started eating more protein and Vitamin B complex. Soon my efforts started showing results that motivated me further to take care of myself.

3 – Spend time with your spouse

Picture by Megha Arora

It was the time when the long talks at night with my husband would turn into arguments and fights. I don’t know the exact reason, but maybe it was the frustration due to change in routine or sleepless nights. And that’s when my husband and I decided to give quality time to each other and our baby. Also, giving dad-son exclusive time helped my husband to connect better with the baby.

4 – Plan a weekly outing with family and spend time with friends

Picture by Megha Arora

We used to plan an outing every Wednesday either for a movie, picnic, or dinner. Getting dressed up and putting on makeup made me feel alive. We also organized monthly get together with friends, spending time with them was like insurance towards the best emotional and mental health.

There is something remarkable about each one of us. Seize the opportunity to look within and rediscover yourself. – Dr. Roopleen

Now, my son is 5 years old. I don’t know if I am a good mother or a good wife, but I always try my best to keep my family happy by giving them my time. But I also keep in mind that my life is equally important, and that’s how ‘me time’ keeps me happy.

Megha Arora

Hi, I am Megha Arora, 31 years old (Delhi based). I am a fulltime homemaker, a wife, mother, and a daughter in law. Also, a fashion lover, shopaholic, makeup lover, and a big-time foodie. I love cooking for my family, and traveling is what excites me a lot.

Thank you, Megha, for sharing your experience of rediscovering the new ”you”. I could totally relate to your struggles; even I have been through the same emotional & mental state. And, I am sure the new mothers out there will find your ideas helpful.

Please help spread this post by clicking the below icons. You may use the hashtag #TheUncommonTales while sharing. Thanks for reading.

The post How to rediscover yourself after having a baby? – ‘The ‘Un’-common Tales’ appeared first on Growing With Nemit.

This Coronavirus Pandemic is prooving to be the biggest eye-opener for mankind. Humans are finally realizing that they can’t take the place of God. Most of us agree that COVID 19 scare is real! It is no joke and we all must act responsibly especially now when there’s no lockdown in place. And, the cases still continue to rise. The pandemic has definitely turned our life upside down, it was distressing but it helped discover our hidden strengths too. Read on to know my thoughts on how Lockdown helped families adapt & evolve.

The last 3 months were not easy for anyone especially parents with young kids. We saw a lot of mothers turning to social media to share a glimpse of their hectic life under lockdown. With husbands working from home and kids not going to school they had their hands full. But as always, they (most of them) found a way to make it work in their favour.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by Neha Sharma (@growing_with_nemit) on Apr 1, 2020 at 8:25am PDT

Similarly, we saw many fathers too effectively managing work from home along with actively participating in other tasks like household chores and child care. The lockdown helped families to bring out their hidden talents & use their strengths to deal with the coronavirus pandemic. Their teamwork helped them adapt & evolve during these testing times!

But not all families could adjust to the demanding situation during coronavirus pandemic.

While some relationships flourished, others just suffocated and died. What went wrong? I guess the stubbornness of some people to accept the change and adapt to the new environment. Or, the traditional upbringing which didn’t teach them to be accepting & flexible during difficult situations.

For a change, today I want to talk about men. These are my observations based on the posts doing rounds on social media and conversation among friends in WhatsApp groups.

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Some men found it a bit difficult to cope up with the stress of the pandemic. As per some of the guys in my friend circle, the situation was more challenging for them as compared to their partners. Because they were forced to work from home and expected to participate in house chores too. It was too much for them! Clearly, they were not prepared mentally for such demanding situations.

Well, I couldn’t understand why do they think that it was not that challenging for women. And I wonder have they even asked their partners about that or came to that conclusion on their own.

Can we say looking at the scenario that only a small percentage of men evolved while others just survived?

Those men who evolved are the ones who looked beyond gender-biased roles at home and challenged the stereotypes. And, effectively managed work-life balance.

 

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A post shared by Neha Sharma (@growing_with_nemit) on Apr 2, 2020 at 9:24am PDT

On the one hand, we saw mothers working a double shift at home trying to keep everyone happy. While, on the other hand, we saw fathers cribbing about being asked to participate in the housework & look after kids along with working from home.

Do you think there was any peer pressure stopping men from doing their part?

I witnessed some absolutely silly & sick jokes doing rounds on Whatsapp groups showing the plight of men under the lockdown. And, men mocking each other for doing house chores or taking care of their kids.

I fail to understand, Why do some men feel ashamed to take equal responsibilities at home? Why spending time with their own child feels like a babysitting job for them?

It’s a topic of debate and I feel we need to have such discussions openly starting within our own circle. I’m sure women would be happy to talk about it. But this time I want to urge men to come forward and start this conversation. Let’s talk!

I know a lot of families who worked as a team during the lockdown & came out stronger than ever together. We are one of them!

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by Neha Sharma (@growing_with_nemit) on Mar 17, 2020 at 10:24am PDT

Life became extremely challenging during the initial days under lockdown. I would have lost it completely if Sumit (my husband) was not around. He not only took the equal responsibility of the household chores but he was there for Nemit too as a hands-on dad, as always.

We all thrive on appreciation, so why not acknowledge the efforts of our partners to motivate them.

Today, I want to thank my husband for overcoming traditional bias and breaking the gender stereotypes at home when it was needed the most. Thank you, baby, for always being there with us. Thank you for all your efforts in helping your family adapt and evolve during this coronavirus pandemic.

The Blog train ‘THE PANDEMIC THAT CHANGED OUR LIFE UPSIDE DOWN’ has been initiated by blogger Ila Varma to bring bloggers together to share numerous experiences of #pandemiclockdown2020.

I’d like to thank Paresh Godwani for introducing me. You can read his post here – ‘Reality Checks During Pandemic‘. Now, I would like to introduce you to Natasha and you can read her post here – ‘Natasha Musing‘.

Do you think the lockdown helped families adapt & evolve? What are your thoughts on this?

The post How the Lockdown helped Families Adapt & Evolve? appeared first on Growing With Nemit.

Hello everyone. Hope you all are doing well and staying safe during this COVID-19 pandemic. Those of you who follow me on Instagram must be knowing that I visited my mother in Delhi last week. Though this visit was planned for the weekend, I really couldn’t wait any longer to see her. So, I decided to go and meet her on Wednesday and stay with her for a couple of days. But I had no idea my happy state will go for a toss in the coming days. Coronavirus scare is real!

COVID-19 is no joke, take it seriously and act responsibly. 

I was so excited that day, I remember telling my husband that I might extend my stay so you be prepared for it. Little did I know that my wish would actually come true but not as I had expected.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by Neha Sharma (@growing_with_nemit) on Jun 11, 2020 at 7:05am PDT

What is wrong with people in Delhi?

When I started from Noida, I was extremely happy to see everyone around in a mask. Some were even wearing gloves & the face shield too. Even the people in their cars were careful and had their masks on. However, I got the shock of my life as soon as I crossed the bypass road & entered Delhi.

• People were carelessly moving around without any mask on their face.
• It seemed like everyone was out of their house & roaming on the streets.
• The traffic was maddening even during the daytime.
• There were no policemen even at the check posts, only barricades.

Delhi has crossed 50k confirmed cases this week and is ranking 3rd on the list of states with the most cases. When the situation is this bad why can’t people behave in a responsible way?

I didn’t want to spoil my mood so I just ignored & focussed on reaching home fast. When I saw my mom, I hugged her tight & wished for the time to stop for a while. Though we were speaking daily via video calls 2-3 times a day, it still felt as if I was seeing her after ages.

Nemit, on the other hand, was on cloud nine. As soon as we entered the house he started dancing, jumping and running around. I am sure it all seemed like a dream to him. He was so excited that he was not leaving his Nani even for a minute.

I got sick but didn’t know if it was due to COVID 19 or Flu or something else

DAY 1

We spent the whole evening that day at my mom’s terrace garden. Every time I visit her I am amazed to see how beautifully she’s maintaining her garden cum organic farm. Inspired by my mom even I tried making a balcony garden last year.

DAY 2

Everything was going well but I was feeling extremely fatigued. The only reason I could think of for the extreme tiredness was my periods which were crazily heavy & prolonged this time.

DAY 3

Just after breakfast, I felt something wrong. I told my mom about this weird sinking feeling. And, an urge to lie down & not utter a word. I went into my room & slept.

I woke up to have lunch but that feeling was still there. Sleep didn’t help! But I slept again. We had to go back to Noida the next day so I welcomed whatever extra sleep I was getting. That evening I felt pain in my stomach but I ignored thinking it to be the side effect of eating & continuous sleeping.

At night, the pain got severe and I had to make several trips to the loo. I got some relief from pain 3 hrs after taking the medicine for diarrhoea.

DAY 4

Next morning I woke up in really bad shape. I was tired, had intense body pain, couldn’t even drag myself out of my bed & had a fever too. 

As soon as I came to my senses, I recalled all the symptoms of COVID 19 in my mind. Except for sore throat and dry cough, I had all the common symptoms of mild coronavirus disease. But then I thought these are also the symptoms of flu or food poisoning or heat stroke etc. I had to wait for at least a day to come to any conclusion. So, I took another dose for diarrhoea and one dose to take care of the temperature & body ache.

Within an hour or so my temperature came down and body ache reduced. I thought of taking a bath that’s when I accidentally slipped in the bathroom and hurt my back really bad. Quite an unlucky day!

I was in shock for a long time thinking why all this is happening now when I’m here at mom’s house. There was nothing much I could do apart from taking rest so went to bed.

Around early evening, I woke up with a pain in my throat & that’s when I freaked out thinking I had contracted COVID 19.

I talked to my mom & we both decided that it’s best to take precautions and follow the guidelines for self-isolation.

My mom has a spare room on the terrace & I shifted there with my stuff leaving Nemit with her. I felt miserable all alone in that room with intense body pain, throat pain, cough, weakness, tiredness & fever. But I had no other option to keep my son & my mom safe in that situation.

We were still not sure if it was COVID 19 since we took all precautions while travelling from Noida to Delhi. We didn’t come in contact with anyone else except our immediate family members. Then HOW & WHY?

PIN IT!

The only thing which could confirm it was COVID 19 test! So, I decided to stay in isolation for 24 hrs & then get the test done. I took only one medicine for fever that night.

It was the scariest night of my life. I was worried about my mother & my son, what if they had got it too? And, I was missing Sumit badly.

That night I couldn’t sleep properly, I was getting all the worst thoughts in my mind. I still can’t believe there are lakhs of careless people out there who are not afraid of coronavirus. And, here I was losing my mind thinking I would never be able to hug my family again.

DAY 5

A miracle happened! I woke up all well, there was little uneasiness for some time but surprisingly I felt much better. It was quite opposite of what I had been imagining. I waited till lunchtime to see if the symptoms reappear. But there was nothing, in fact, I was feeling energetic and happy. There was not even a hint of post-illness fatigue.

I believe it was the power of my mom’s prayer (she slept only for an hour that night) and of course, her Kadha (immunity-boosting drink) which resulted in this miracle.

Editing to add the Kadha recipe since I’m getting a lot of messages for this. 

To make Kadha take 1 glass water, add long (3-4 cloves), moti elaichi (1 thick cardamom), daalchini (half-inch cinnamon), tulsi leaves (4-5), adrak (ginger half an inch), a pinch of turmeric (haldi) and kali mirch (black pepper 3-4). Boil it until the water reduces to half. Drink it hot. You may also add honey & lemon to improve its taste.

The cases are on the rise in India and this is not the time to take coronavirus lightly. Please take care of yourself and your family because COVID 19 scare is REAL!

What do you think happened to me? Have you experienced anything like this? What were your thoughts at that time? Share with me in the comments below.

Also, don’t forget to share this post, click the icons below to share on social media.

The post COVID 19 Scare – I had to Quarantine myself for the sake of my Family appeared first on Growing With Nemit.

Hey guys! After avoiding this topic for years, I am finally putting it down on my blog. I have got many messages from friends & unknown people to know the secret of my relationship with my mother in law (MIL). The question is How to become a Daughter to a Mother-in-law? or How to make my MIL love me like her own daughter? I think we all look for an answer to these questions when things are not so cool in our relation with our MIL.

Before sharing the tips I want to mention that this is my story and not expert advice. It may or may not help you. You may or may not connect with it. The only idea behind sharing this post is to let everyone know that it is possible. You can bring that CHANGE!

Story of my Life

I had a dream to marry in a family who would accept me the way I am.

And, love me like a daughter.

Also, I was very clear that I won’t allow my parents to give dowry or any kind of gifts to the groom’s family. Neither would let anyone make them feel any less because they are the parents of a girl.

Now, I had some beliefs of my own too.

• I believe in One Superpower or One God which means no idol worship, temple visits or following rituals.
• And, I don’t believe in traditions & customs which make no sense to me.
• Instead, I strongly believe in science & evidence-based theories.
• I also believe in equality & living life on my own terms.

Luckily, I found Sumit who never questioned my beliefs & I also fell in love with his family from day 1 of our meeting. They are simple, honest and down to earth people.

Before marriage, my parents clearly mentioned about my dreams and beliefs to my to be mother-in-law and she assured them that she will love me like a daughter. I was happy because they were the only family I met who didn’t want me to change after marriage.

Reality after Marriage

I had already fallen in love with Sumit’s family & I just wanted them to be happy especially his mother. I felt a connection with her, she doesn’t have a daughter & I wanted to show her the love of a daughter. So, every time we would visit her, I tried to impress her by doing things she wanted me to do to build our relationship. Waiting to get acceptance & love in return (my biggest mistake).

And, gradually it all started feeling like a burden. I never felt that love which I was hoping to get from her. One day, I broke down in front of Sumit. I cried & cried, he was clueless & couldn’t understand what I was going through. So, to vent out I updated the status on my Facebook.

I received a lot of comments, messages & calls from friends that day but no one said ‘keep trying & don’t give up now’. Everybody wanted me to accept it as my fate which I couldn’t because I knew this was not my fate.

And, then I did another post the next day to share what was going wrong.

Click here to go to this post

By putting down my thoughts on social media and discussing it openly, I realized this problem is not about MIL-DIL relationship. It’s about the mindset, everyone is suffering because of it but nobody wants to take charge and bring some change.

Then & there I knew what I had to do. I knew my MIL is not a bad person, she never treated me badly just that she never treated me the way I wanted. Maybe because she had never seen anyone treating their DIL like a daughter.

Time to Work towards Bringing a Change!

And, I did one last post on the next day because I understood what I needed to do now.

Click here to go to this post

6 Tips from my Experience which helped me become a Daughter to my Mother-in-law.

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TIP 1- Never expect a thing without communicating your expectations clearly.

My first mistake was trying to impress her by doing things I didn’t believe in. And yet expecting her to accept me the way I am. I never showed her my true self.

MIL is not a God, she will never know what you are feeling & what you expect if you won’t share it.

I know it is awkward to share expectations directly but believe me if communicated in a proper manner that could change your life forever. So, I took help from my husband.

Tip 2- If your husband is supportive, share your feelings with him. If he’s not, first work on your relationship.

Initially, it was not easy to convince him to help me with my plan. He suggested that I keep a distance from his mother & stop visiting her. This was not what I wanted. And, it took us 1 year 7 months to make things work. Don’t send your husband to talk to his mother about you, instead keep him as a backup in case you need help.

Even though Sumit was always supportive but we had our share of arguments on this topic. Mostly because I had no patience & wanted to see the results immediately. Remember to have patience because change doesn’t happen overnight.

Tip 3- Take initiative. If you want to improve things, talk directly to your Mother-in-law.

Remember she’s from the older generation, her beliefs may not change. But you have to try to ask for your freedom. Talk to her like you would talk to someone close, share what you feel. Chances are that she may get offended and go to her son & complain. That’s when your husband will come as a support to tackle the situation.

Go back to her & talk again. Ask her why she felt offended, use emotions, remember she’s also a woman. Take it slow! Again, don’t expect things to change overnight.

Tip 4-  Make it about her and not you.

Talk to her about her life. Ask about her childhood, her dreams, what makes her happy, her fears. My mother-in-law told me she wanted to learn how to use a smartphone. She also told me that she wanted to fly in an airplane once in her life. She had never traveled far except once or twice. I felt a connection that day with her, I realized there was a little girl in her with many dreams just like me.

That day I found a purpose, I decided to fulfill her dreams. We took her to movies, we traveled, she even learned how to operate a smartphone & then she got one for herself. Now she also has an account on Instagram to like my pics. wink* wink*

I told her she deserves to live her dreams & there is no shame in that. I saw a sparkle in her eyes. I am sure that was the day she too understood me.

Tip 5- Once you feel a connection building in your relationship, talk about your beliefs & expectations.

This was the time when I felt really comfortable with her.  And, I talked about the changes we should bring, something which is for the betterment of everyone. Here are a few things which we changed in our family-

• There are no formalities in the 2 families now. We meet & we have fun. We travel together.
• I am treated as a part of the family, just like a daughter.
• No gifts or money distributed in the name of ritual or custom not even to the extended family.
• I’m free to wear whatever I want. I’m free to choose which traditions I want to follow.
• And, I’m not forced for prayer or temple visits.
• I don’t cook at mother-in-law’s house unless I feel like cooking.
• I make my own decisions.
• The rule for the extended family- Give Respect, Take Respect. No strings attached!

Here’s an Instagram post I wrote 2 years back when we were going on a trip for my birthday with both my mom & mother-in-law for the first time. This was one of my dreams I used to tell my mom, to travel together as a family with no formalities.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by Neha Sharma (@growing_with_nemit) on Aug 17, 2017 at 10:35am PDT

I want to mention that bringing this change might look easier to many of you since I am not living with my MIL under one roof. Also, my mother-in-law is not too stubborn as other MILs are as told to me by many of my friends. I don’t have a father-in-law, also no sister-in-law. And, not to forget the relatives, now they don’t have much say in our family matters. Trust me it was still not that EASY but absolutely worth the EFFORTS.

Your task would definitely become more difficult if you have to deal with all such situations. But, I am still very sure that nothing is impossible. Making or breaking a family is in our hands, just don’t give up before trying. And, don’t change yourself at any cost.

Also, please don’t assume that things can’t improve or your relationship can’t get better. Take steps towards it, fight for your rights!

In my fight, I lost many other relations who felt offended to see my mother-in-law love me like a daughter. It hurt a lot initially but I am happy with my little family & I really don’t need haters in my life.

I still have so much to share & explain but I’ll leave you guys here to ponder upon this question, hope you find your answers soon. How to become a Daughter to a Mother-in-law?

Today, I can proudly say ‘We have broken the norms and social barriers in our family’

This post is part of the Weekly Blog Hop hosted by me and Alpana. To read posts from other bloggers, follow the hashtag #WeeklyBlogHop on social media.

If you liked this post and found it helpful, do share it with your friends and family.

The post How I became a Daughter to my Mother-in-law? appeared first on Growing With Nemit.

Energetic Weekends

This one is my favorite!! Our weekends, when you get to rest and just give instructions to get the work done and all the baby chores are taken care of by Papa. Every day I wait for Saturday and I am sure papa also love his weekends.

This Papa-beta (Dad-Son) Jodi when together for a long time tends to forget the world around. They would spend hours in the park, their bathing sessions become water play and stretch for about an hour, they would sing don’t know what kind of songs and then laugh out loud when I make confused faces.

Papa has a particular way to make Nemit sleep, singing lullaby and dancing, I don’t know how he does this but within minutes Nemit is off to deep sleep. There is a spark in their bonding and it feels good to know that Papa is very clear about his priorities. I love the way how Sumit (Papa) keeps his calm during difficult situations, I remember once Nemit fell on the glass table and his nose started bleeding. I was in shock and crying, all the bad thoughts were coming in my mind but Sumit was calm, first he consoled Nemit, then talked to me and took us to the doc. Papa is our savior.

We have a routine of visiting in-laws once or twice every month and because my mom’s house is on the way, we stay there overnight on Friday and leave for in-laws on Saturday. That way Nemit gets to spend time with both the grandmothers and we try to get some baby-free time.

Talking about Nani (maternal grandmother) and Dadi (Paternal grandmother)–

Nani has her special way with Nemit, she has the notion that Nemit is always hungry thus keeps him feeding something or the other all the time, I am already tired of telling her about meal times but no use. Now I let it go!! Nani also has a ‘Magical Pitara’ which is her big handbag and is always stuffed with things which fascinate Nemit a lot and every time he wants to have a new thing to explore, he brings that pitara, Nani do some magic and Abracadabra! Nemit gets a new thing to play.

Dadi on the other side is so emotional that even the news of us visiting her makes her super excited and teary at the same time. Nemit love his morning walks with dadi, they go and feed cows and dogs and he gets to learn all about kindness. Because Nemit’s chachu (uncle) is great at photography, our Saturday evenings are booked for fun photo sessions. We get clicked in all possible lovey-dovey and funny poses. We never miss a chance to collect our memories.

These moments spent with family are sacred & precious because we know the importance of family time. The best thing about Memories is making them and we strongly believe in it!

How do you keep a balance between Nani/Dadi…share your story!! I am so interested 🙂

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