Hello everyone, we are starting a new blog series from today – The ‘Un’-common Tales of common people. And, the very first post of the series is by one of my very good friends, Richa Kaushik. I want to thank her for coming out and sharing her experience of fighting anxiety during the lockdown. Take professional help is the advice she wants to give to everyone through her story. Now, before moving on to her story, a little about this series.

My blog, www.growingwithnemit.com, completed 3 years on 17th July 2020.

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A post shared by Neha Sharma (@growing_with_nemit) on Jul 17, 2020 at 8:25am PDT

Last year, I did a month-long #BirthdayBlogTrain with a friend in which around 40 bloggers participated to write posts on the provided prompts.

And, this time, I wanted to do something different & wanted to involve my well-wishers in the celebration. So, I came up with the idea of starting a blog series for common people (non-bloggers).

I strongly believe that each one of us has a ‘voice’ that can make an impact, the ‘power’ to inspire others and the ‘experience’ that could help someone else. But not everyone has a platform to reach out to others and share their experiences with them.

And, that’s why this series, where you will get to read the tales of common people who have the power to inspire and bring the change. Yes, they are not some famous personalities who get all the limelight. They are not even bloggers who already have a good reach.

They are the people who are living an ordinary life, but they inspire me, and I am sure they will inspire you too. This series is a small token of thanks to those people who have always supported me in my journey.

If you, too, have been a part of our blog’s journey and wish to be a part of this series, you can reach out to me on Instagram. No bloggers, please!

Now, let’s read Richa’s story.

Take Professional Help Because ‘Professionals’ don’t ‘Judge.’

PIN IT!

Life is bliss when it is surrounded by people who love and adore you. Kids were going to school, husband going to the office and me, busy with my house chores, enjoying 2hrs of ‘me-time’, chatting with friends & ex-colleagues.

With its ups and downs, highs and lows, life seemed happy!

And then one day, suddenly COVID -19…LOCKDOWN and everything was put at halt! 

An unending cycle of chores started off for me. Kid and husband at home, online classes, no maid, no help, and time seemed to slip away from my hands.

You may also read her post on ‘Motherhood Struggles are Real!’

Picture by Richa Kaushik

Initially, it was exciting to have everyone at home, and this family time felt precious. We planted pots, watched movies and cartoons, we played and exercised, and the n- number of recipes we cooked. But gradually, all this turned overwhelming. With no ‘me time’, kid feeling frustrated, no playdates, no friends meet, the whole world came down to zoom and WhatsApp video calls, with no physical connection.

I felt homesick and all of this took a toll on my physical and mental health.

MAY, the nightmare month, when I got triggered by every single thought of work and family, my ANXIETY was coming back, and I could sense it. I called up my psychologist and got to know that I am not alone!

She made me realize ‘not to lose yourself in chaos’.

I changed my routine and planned one day at a time, from waking up early to having good ‘me time’. I added yoga too in my routine, I wear something good every day and not just a tee and lower. And, I used my creativity to make worksheets and small artwork with my 3 yr old daughter. Her excitement kept me motivated, my husband started cooking one meal of the day, and every weekend we decided to watch a really funny movie. Slowly things changed, and by mid-June, I rediscovered my strength.

Picture by Richa Kaushik

There are many like me, who don’t seek “THE RIGHT” help or remain unheard.

If someone feels the trigger, don’t just go to anyone, go to a “professional” because they are trained ‘not to judge’ – As told by Dr. Sonia Kumar (my psychologist).

Enjoy this blessing in disguise. Stay Indoors. Stay safe.

Richa Kaushik

An Educator with a passion for teaching kids, a SAHM, a proud depression survivor. I love to read romance near a beach; singing is a hobby, and music is the soul. I am a traveler, love to enjoy in secrecy with some traits of humor and a lot of optimism. My favorite quote says: “This is the moment, this is the lifetime.”

Thank you, Richa, for sharing your experience of lockdown anxiety and how you fought it. These are stressful times for everyone, and I’m sure there are many others who are battling anxiety and depression. But not everyone gets the right help at the right time.

If you feel the triggers, don’t hesitate in taking professional help!

Please help spread this story by clicking the below icons. You may use hashtag #TheUncommonTales while sharing. Thanks for reading.

The post Take Professional Help – ‘The ‘Un’-common Tales’ Blog Series appeared first on Growing With Nemit.

Hi friends, let’s welcome December with this lovely story of a mother who has found her source of joy and learning in motherhood. This post is special as it is written by the person who actually gave me the idea of doing The Mom Series. Well, and the best part is she herself has no idea about it. Time to reveal!

So, one day we were having a normal chat and she appreciated me for my work, then she said something which made me think about it over the next 2 days. She said whatever I am writing on my blog, she can write that too but couldn’t as she herself doesn’t get such ideas.

It made me ponder on her comment and I realized that she was right. I am no one special, just a mother who loves to share her experience, in the hope that someone reading it could get benefitted or someone going through the similar situations can feel relieved that she’s not the only one. And if we look at the bigger picture, don’t you think we all mothers have some or the other kind of experiences which if shared with others can help, motivate and inspire other mothers too.

Hence the credit goes to Gunjan Bhatla, for giving me this brilliant idea of calling out the mothers and letting them share their motherhood experience with the world. Thanks a lot, dear!

Now, it’s time to read her story in her own words.

Motherhood – My Source of Joy and Learning 

– By Gunjan Bhatla

Someone has rightly said – “Motherhood is an experiment that how long your body can function without adequate sleep or nourishment and fuelled only by caffeine and baby smiles.”

The joy of motherhood comes in moments. There would certainly be hard and frustrating times but amid the challenges, there are shining moments of joy and love. As soon as my hubby and I came to know that a new family member is on its way, we were overjoyed; even my in-laws and my maternal side were really happy.

But I was not aware that soon I would be getting experienced teachings from everyone in the family and to my surprise from few of my friends too. All sort of suggestions started flooding in.

Give me a break, at least wait for my Motherhood to begin. Typical Punjabi family, if you can imagine.

Then came the day – 4th March 2016 and I was a mother of a handsome baby boy after having more than 10 hours of labor pain and still getting a C- Section at the end. When I came out of the Operation Theatre, my mom shook me and asked, “what happened?” I was obviously clueless at that time, as I was still regaining consciousness. I remember a voice came in my ears, “Babu Hua Hai”. I was so happy, as my hubby always used to tell me if there would be a girl, then we would find a “Ghar Jamai”. I would not send her away from me, LOL.

Our family was filled with joy and all the good things were happening.

I would like to mention, at that time my Father-in-law (FIL) & Mother-in-law (MIL) were in their 80’s. And apart from me and my MIL, there was no other lady in the house. And I was literally forced by the very same situation to spend my first three months post delivery at my mother’s place. And for those three months, my hubby was not with me. He used to come and meet us on weekends.

Obviously, I was overjoyed with the arrival of my baby but could also see the hardships I would be facing while upbringing my child. And the worst part was, I became very emotional. But I had no idea what was happening with me. And as my hubby was not with me, it was very difficult for him to understand the situation.

Here the Learning phase started. After some days I read an article, which literally shocked me. It was all about the Post Partum Depression. After reading that I recalled all the incidents that happened to me. And believe me guys, it was really easy to correlate the things. Now I am aware that I was trapped in PPD. I forwarded the same article to my hubby to make him understand the situation I was in. However, things on his side were even more complex. I realized being alone for 3 months, he had gone into a kind of depression himself. This further broke me and later the situation got worse and we started having arguments and misunderstandings between us. And that was the last thing that I wanted in my life.

But thankfully, because of my mother and sister, things between us gradually improved. They used to counsel us regularly and calm us down. Thanks a ton MOM and SIS!

After 3 months, I was back to my hubby’s home. I would like to mention that my MIL used to try and help me, but could not do most of the activities due to her age. All of a sudden God gave me another dose of shock; my MIL was diagnosed with Dementia when my baby was just four months old. After that, regular visits to the hospital started. Sometimes it used to stretch for more than two weeks and I had to manage all the things at home and outside on my own.

Dementia is a broad category of brain diseases that cause a long-term and often gradual decrease in the ability to think and remember that is great enough to affect a person’s daily functioning. The most common type of dementia is Alzheimer’s disease, which makes up 50% to 70% of cases.

Source – Wikipedia

She was in bed for more than six months and later in Dec 2016 the worst thing happened; she expired. And I was left all alone. Now, the situation was, I had a 9-month-old baby in my lap with all the responsibilities of the house; as I was the only lady left. The situation was really tough!

And believe me guys, I am still learning to cope up with many things, managing all the household activities and taking care of three kids…my own baby, my hubby and my FIL (after losing his better half, he had become a kid whom we have to take care of very consciously).

Now I can say that I perfectly understand the meaning of “Learning is a never-ending process“. With my three babies of different generations, I have learned so many things:

1. Wake up with lots of energy, even after sleepless nights.
2. Have patience even if the baby is crying without any reason.
3. Handle baby’s tantrums.
4. Taking care of all the day to day needs of my hubby.
5. Taking care of an 84 years old baby.

The list is never-ending.

I pray to GOD that he gives me the required strength and blessings that I become a responsible Daughter-in-law, a loving and caring Wife and a successful Mother.

Thanks for sharing your story Gunjan, Motherhood indeed brings unlimited joy as well as lots of teaching on its way. Only after going through such myriad emotions and situations, mothers become even stronger.

This is the last post of The Mom Series and I want to thank all the awesome mothers who shared their stories to be featured on my blog. It was exciting as well as inspiring to read the stories of real moms, it made us look for hope, courage, determination, faith, and joy in our own motherhood journeys. Much power and love to all the mothers! And big thanks to all my lovely readers for making it successful, people coming back to read these stories proved they loved it as much as we loved bringing these to you.

Having said that, though I am not continuing the series for December but will definitely bring some more stories of strong mothers to end our year with lots of positiveness and inspiration in our hearts. And we will call these as the Bonus Posts.

Those of you who have missed reading the previous stories, you can read them all by clicking on the below links-

>> Stories of Hope & Courage – By Rajavee Gupta and Srishti Singh <<

>> Stories of Determination & Strong Will – By Rupal Agarwal, Rashmi Datta and Neetika Soam <<

>> Stories of Faith & Perseverance – By Richa Kaushik and Arushi Arora <<

Hope you like these stories. Do comment and share if you liked!

The post Motherhood – Source of Joy and Learning appeared first on Growing With Nemit.

“Successful mothers are not the ones who have never struggled. They are the ones who never give up, despite the struggles” – Sharon Jaynes

Hello to all my lovely readers and friends, I am sure you will agree with the above statement. I haven’t met a mother whose motherhood journey had been a smooth road, there are difficulties, challenges as well as lots of struggles that we face every day starting from Day 1 of our pregnancy, the day when a new life takes its place inside us and connects with our soul.

And today in our MAA – The Mom Series, I am bringing to you the stories of mothers who despite having many roadblocks in their journey did not give up and are getting strong and positive with each coming day. They are the true inspiration to many in the world who think that their motherhood journey is most difficult and are struggling to find their way through it.

A Survival Story

– By Richa Kaushik

Those two pink lines brought us immense pleasure as it would have to any other couple planning to bring those two little hands and two little feet and a cute smile in their lives. We were on cloud nine and wanted to hold our baby in our arms.

This good news was followed by a series of tests, ultrasounds, diet plans and lots of wishes & advises from friends and family members. Everything was fine until 14^th week (I was getting accustomed to needles, the sight of which once used to faint me!!) when I got my reports for the double marker test.

It was a normal day, I went to the school (by the way am a teacher), came home, finished my house chores and then I got a call from my gynecologist about my reports. She wanted to meet us immediately which was unusual on her part. We went there just to realize that our world was going to fall apart. The reports were bad.

It showed a high risk of Trisomy 21 (Down Syndrome). I was asked to make a choice. A choice?  A mom was told to either keep the child or abort it. I had no words. I cried my heart out and I was asking the God…Why me? I wanted to run away from there as my heart sunk and mind stopped working.

Down syndrome (DS or DNS), also known as trisomy 21, is a genetic disorder which is typically associated with physical growth delays, characteristic facial features and mild to moderate intellectual disability. The average IQ of a young adult with Down syndrome is 50, equivalent to the mental ability of an 8- or 9-year-old child, but this can vary widely.

Source – Wikipedia

Finally, I made a tough choice to go for “Amniocentesis”. We went for a counseling first and came to know that there were 1% chances of miscarriage as the baby could attack the needle or the needle might hurt the baby.

I felt as if I was the most unfortunate woman who had done so many sins. Was I going to pay off like this? But the mother inside me decided to stay strong and I was there for the process the very next day.

A needle was inserted into my uterus through my tummy. Throughout the whole procedure, I was talking to my baby as I could see her on the ultrasound screen, I was telling her to stay calm and not to attack the needle while this unwanted invasion was going on. Everything was done and I was advised to take a week’s bed rest.

Amniocentesis (also referred to as amniotic fluid test) is a medical procedure used in prenatal diagnosis of genetic disorders such as Down Syndrome and fetal infections in which a small amount of amniotic fluid, is sampled from the amniotic sac surrounding a developing fetus, and then the fetal DNA is examined for genetic abnormalities.

Source – Wikipedia

Two weeks till the reports came were the most difficult days for me as I went into depression, my appetite, thirst, sleep everything was gone. I lost 2 kg weight and I just couldn’t express my feelings to anyone. My hubby was equally tensed but I wanted to show him that I was strong.

After 2 weeks, when we got the reports, we were the happiest to-be parents as by God’s grace reports came out to be fine. I just could not thank God enough from my heart and soul. All the wishes and blessings I had ever got were bestowed on me.

My baby is a strong girl as she had to go a lot while inside my womb, which is a long story to tell some other time. But this survival story might inspire those who are going through a similar situation. I regained my health and my smiles.

She is a brave child. My strong survivor!

Dealing with Tantrums

– By Arushi Arora

Ahh!! My kid is having a tantrum and I want to scream…

Yessss I really want to scream when I find that my 20 months old baby becomes very fussy for each and everything. And I guess most parents experience it, those moments when their kids have a full-blown temper tantrum, which may involve screaming, crying, stomping feet, dropping to the ground or all of the above.

Same thing happened to me last month when we were out for a visit to the mall and suddenly my baby became fussy and stubborn and he lied down on the floor for no reason. Seriously this was too stressful for me, no matter where it happens but when it’s in a public place you feel as if everyone is looking at you and judging “what kind of a mother she is, can’t even control her kid”. And at that time you just want to curl up in a ball and scream.

Well, NO, I didn’t scream neither did I run somewhere to hide, in fact, I handled the whole situation patiently and without panicking, I asked my little one in the softest possible voice to cool down and promised him to buy his favorite cake and took him for rides to distract his mind. Because I knew, if I started yelling or screaming at him, the situation would have got even worse.

“THINK IN THE FUTURE, ACT IN THE PRESENT”

It may sound hard to do but we need to forget about other people who may be watching us during those cringe-inducing moments when our children are in the throes of a tantrum.

SHOUTING back to the child is not helpful for anyone because that’s more sensory information that is going to make them go into a NUCLEUS.

When little people are overwhelmed by big emotions, it’s our job to share our calm, not to join their chaos – L.R Knost

Think of yourself as a “TUNING FORK”, the calmer and clearer you can be, the better things will become”

We can not avoid or guess when a tantrum will hit but we can surely take beforehand measures to handle them on the spot. Here are few tips that help me in such a situation –

• Always carry their favorite toys or food while going out.
• Give them choices while in the middle of a tantrum.
• Give lots of cuddly hugs to calm them down.
• Get down to their level of understanding to control the situation.

I must say remember that strangers are just the strangers, they don’t really matter. Anyone who actually has kids would be saying a silent prayer in such a situation, that it’s you in the hot seat today. And the judgemental ones? Who needs them? Put them out of your mind and concentrate only on your kid.

These two stories will always remain close to my heart as I could connect with both on a personal level, Richa’s story is somewhat a reflection of what I had gone through, similar situations, same fears and then the moments of happiness and feeling blessed. Similarly, I can understand what Arushi wants to say through her story, my son has also entered that phase where sometimes his emotions take control of his mind.

There is so much positiveness in both the stories, how these mothers approached the difficult situations, fought the struggles and finally were able to win the battle with their faith and perseverance. Thanks, Richa and Arushi for sharing your inspirational stories with us!

This post was supposed to be the last post for The Mom Series but as we are getting so much love and huge response from you all, I may share some bonus posts in December as well though will not be able to continue the weekly motherhood stories. Why?

To know that, you will have to visit my Instagram page by clicking on this link – Growing with Nemit and check the latest post where I have mentioned my reasons. Do check that out!

And if you liked this post then don’t forget to share it! I would really appreciate that.

The post Motherhood Struggles Are Real – Success Stories of Strong Mothers appeared first on Growing With Nemit.