In a perfect world, children on every playground would play nice, take turns, and respect one another. But since we don’t live in an ideal world, children will misbehave or even bully other children on the playground. As a parent, what do you do when you see a child misbehaving? Should you parent other children in such a situation? This is a difficult question to answer!

Every parent has their own unique way of parenting their child. Most of the time, parents do not take too kindly to someone else parenting their child without consent. However, there are some common playground scenarios that may require your attention and parenting skills to resolve the issue.

Common Playground Scenarios

Scenario 1: You see a child cutting in front of other children in the line for the slide

This situation is one that’s all too common on the playground. Some children are able to take turns and share playground equipment, but others are not.  One way to resolve this issue is to simply intervene in the situation by telling your child to pick another playground activity.

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But if your child does not want to move on to another activity, instruct your child to play nice with the other child who’s cutting in front of the line by saying:

“Can you please stop cutting in front of me?”

“Please let me have my turn down the side.”

Another alternative to this same scenario is to practice a gentle parenting approach with the child who keeps cutting in line. You can try saying the following to the child:

“You are doing so good going down the slide, but we all need to remember to wait our turn.”

Scenario 2:  You see a child throwing sand up in the air in the sandbox

If your child is playing in the same sandbox, it may be wise to move him or her away from the situation. It’s never fun to get sand in your eyes or inhale sand particles. For this particular situation, it may be proper playground etiquette to walk away.

Yes, the child throwing sand needs to be parented or disciplined for his/her actions. However, it is more of immediate concern to remove your child from the situation and move on with your day. Sometimes the best thing to do is nothing in situations like this.

Scenario 3: You see another child pushing, biting, or more (bullying) another child

This is a scenario you do not want to see on the playground between children. Bullying behaviors that harm someone emotionally or physically is never acceptable under any circumstances. For bullying, it’s important to live by the motto- See something, do something.

In this instance, your instincts as a parent kick in. And you need to intervene between the two children even if one of the children is not your child. When you see a child acting out toward another child, it’s best to separate the children from one another and ask the child where their mother or father is on the playground.

The chances are the mom or dad of the children did not see the bullying behavior occur. No parent would approve of their child bullying another child or seeing their child being hurt. Therefore, it’s best to talk to the children’s parents directly. This way, you are not parenting the children directly; instead, you are involving the parents to handle the issue.

You may also read – How the Emotional Needs of a child affect their behavior?

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So the question still remains: Do you parent other children on the playground?

Yes and no. Through these three common playground scenarios, we see there are ways to handle and possibly solve issues without directly parenting a child. For some parents, they become extremely offended by someone else parenting their child.

You can avoid offending other parents on the playground by trying one of the following tactics:

1. Use gentle parenting techniques to kindly ask a misbehaving child to take turns, share, etc.
2. Remove your child from the situation without parenting another child.
3. Don’t parent the misbehaving child directly, but contact the child’s parents on the playground to let them know about the issue.

While you can parent another child on the playground, other parents may frown upon it. There is an unspoken rule about parenting, commonly referred to as “not your child, not your business.” However, when a child is not acting appropriately with other children on the playground by causing harm physically and emotionally, no parent can stand idly by and only observe.

Sometimes immediate intervention is needed to resolve an issue that can lead to potential harm on the playground. Whether it is your child or someone else’s child, you need to parent and discipline.

The post Should you parent other children on the playground? appeared first on Growing With Nemit.

Hey guys, finally am sharing the last post of the series on Emotional Needs of children. This post is about understanding the emotional needs and then taking the right actions to tackle child behavior. In the first post, I had shared why we as parents or caretakers should understand the emotional needs of a child. In the second post, I shared what are the emotional needs of a child and how emotions affect their behavior.

And in today’s post, I am going to share how we can help our children by understanding the factors causing emotional turmoil & extreme behaviors. Our children look up to us in every way because they trust us. And to keep their trust, it becomes our duty to be actively involved in their development. And to also understand and fulfill their needs!

Screenshot of my Instagram story (highlight – school)

So, when we started noticing behavioral changes in Nemit, we kept a watch on him through CCTV (live streaming facility provided by playschool) while he was at school. It became a task for us to understand why was he suddenly behaving so weird.

=> I recommend that you read the previous 2 posts to understand this post in a better way <=

Our observation at home as well as at school

We observed quite a lot of changes that happened around Nemit at home as well as at school, which might have triggered that behavior. And after carefully observing and understanding the situations, we came to a conclusion which I am sharing below-

1- Changes in our daily schedule

My husband and I noticed a lot of change in our daily schedule during the last 2 weeks just before we saw changes in Nemit. We have been traveling a lot lately which meant Nemit was also experiencing the change of place and people quite frequently. It is not easy for kids to adjust to changing routines in the blink of an eye. And they take their own time in adjusting to such situations. Initially, we completely overlooked this part while addressing the issue.

2- My Health

Another situation which could have hurt him emotionally was my bad health.

Screenshot of the school’s CCTV footage

I was not keeping very well during the same time period. That’s why I was not much involved with him during his play and activity time at home. And because he spends the rest of the day with me after coming back from school, he could have been missing my complete involvement. It is definitely not easy for kids to understand what an illness is. And what to expect when the parent is sick and not in their usual self. Also, we are a nuclear family, which means there is no other family member who could take over the situation and take care of Nemit.

3- Nemit’s Health

One more point which I want to consider here was Nemit’s on & off cold & nasal congestion. He catches a cold quite often since he started his playschool. Usually, the common cold does not affect him much and he stays active and happy throughout. But considering the other scenarios at hand, I think cold also worked as a trigger for his cranky behavior.

Now coming to the school part for understanding the emotional needs of a child

Screenshot of my Instagram story (highlight – school)

When Nemit joined the school, for the first few days I used to stay with him inside the class. I saw that the class teacher was paying equal attention to each and every kid. They were offered toys and were allowed to play on their own. However, when I watched the CCTV footage during the period of his crying, things were different. I saw a completely different nature of class teacher & her way of handling kids. In one video, I saw his teacher holding him by the shoulder and scolding him, which was a red alert for me considering they have a ‘no touch’ policy.

Screenshot of my Instagram story (highlight – school)

We are Ok with scolding if the situation is getting out of control and that’s the only option left to make the child understand. And we are also Ok with teacher hugging and consoling the child if that’s what would make him feel better. Since Nemit is a super active kid, I try to channelize his energy using play-based activities at home. Following some of the Montessori principles have also helped us in keeping his excess energy in control.

However, at school, he was left to follow the teacher’s instructions which I feel is not the correct way to discipline young toddlers. I also felt there was a lack of emotional connect between the teacher and the kids. We discussed all our concerns with the Center Director and she promised us to look into the matter.

Screenshot of my Instagram story (highlight – school)

We are glad that she took our concerns seriously and implemented the changes instantly. In just 2 weeks Nemit was back to his usual happy active self. His teacher started paying attention to kids and I even saw her hugging kids to make them feel better.

Let the kids be kids! at least in a playschool.

It’s time to conclude this post here. If a child shows any sign of changed behavior, parents should jump into the matter to find out the reason. The emotional needs of a toddler are higher than we anticipate. They need lots of love, understanding and appropriate guidance. And when searching for answers, always look at a greater picture. As parents, we are bound to come to conclusions very fast. And then we blame either situation or the child or even ourselves for our child’s negative behavior.

Screenshot of my Instagram story (highlight – school)

Just remember when a child cries, feels upset or throws a tantrum, there is a reason or some stimuli behind this behavior. Parents should look at all the possible factors causing the changes. And then take appropriate measures to deal with the problem. I hope you find this series helpful in understanding the emotional needs of your child.

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The post Understanding the Emotional needs of a child – Our Observation appeared first on Growing With Nemit.

Hey guys, I know I kept you all waiting too long for this post on emotions and child behavior. I want to blame the #momlife for that. That’s the easiest excuse which fits everywhere! Isn’t it? Just kidding!

In the first part, I shared a little background of why I am writing these posts on the emotional needs of a toddler. With this series of 3 posts, I want to share my experience with all the parents whose kids are in the age group 1-3 years and go to a play school.

You can read Part -1 of the series here.

Nemit was 2.5 years old and was going to a playschool since last 3 months. He was well settled in his class and used to get really excited every morning to go to school. For a child, who is otherwise happy to talk about his school every day suddenly starts acting weird definitely needed an immediate attention (please read Part 1 to know the details).

Screenshot from CCTV footage at school/Watch all school stories on my Instagram highlights

But because Nemit was too young to express his feelings in words, it became a challenging task for us to find out the reason behind his behavioral change. Parents are the one who is really close to their children and any change in the behavior of a child or a sudden outburst of emotions can be easily detected by them.

Emotions are a part of human nature. Anger, sadness, frustration, fear are as normal as feeling elated, calm and happy. But to understand the reason behind these emotions, parents need to pay attention to a child’s behavior.

One day, Nemit completely refused to go to school. We were confused as the reason could be anything. Just a phase or he wanted a break from school or he was having some emotional concerns or maybe he was just looking for attention from us.

We decided to keep a watch on him during his school time using the CCTV live streaming facility provided by the school.

Almost 20 days later and after many brainstorming sessions, we somewhat understood the reason for his behavior. This time also Google came to our rescue and we came to know about the term emotional needs of a child. We trusted our instincts and went deep into the research to get more understanding of the topic.

And then, we, along with Nemit’s playschool teachers started working on it. This is the most important step when dealing with emotions. Detecting a problem is one thing, working towards fixing that problem and finding a solution is what that matters the most.

Before I tell you more about our observations, let’s see what are the emotional needs of a toddler and how it affects their behavior.

What are the ’emotional needs’ of a toddler?

It is quite easy for parents to understand and meet the physical needs of their children. But, the emotional needs of a child may not be as obvious. That’s why it becomes even more crucial for parents to understand and acknowledge the emotions of their kids.

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Young children need unconditional love from their parents, encouraging words and support from their teachers and acceptance and approval from their friends to grow emotionally strong. All this helps in developing self-confidence, high self-esteem and a healthy emotional outlook on life for kids. You may read more on this here!

A child’s good mental health helps them to think clearly, develop socially and learn new skills. 

Every child has some basic emotional needs which if not met effectively can result in behavioral changes. The most common ones are-

• Need for unconditional love and acceptance from parents
• Encouragement, praise, and support from teachers and peers
• Freedom to make mistakes and learn from those mistakes
• Appropriate guidance and discipline for correcting behavior instead of using harsh language and spanking
• The need to be heard and understood
• Understanding their mood changes and dealing with them politely
• Need for safe and secure surroundings
• Accepting negative emotions and understanding the reason behind such emotions.

Understanding and fulfilling these basic needs of a child is very important for their mental health and emotional development. We noticed that we lacked somewhere in fulfilling some of the emotional needs of our son which led to a drastic change in his behavior. However, we are happy that we could find out the reason behind his crankiness, frustration, and fear and could take appropriate steps in resolving these issues.

In the next post of the series, I will share the incidents in detail that probably lead to certain behavioral changes in Nemit during this time period.

Reference –

https://psychcentral.com

https://www.psychologytoday.com/

http://guidetochildcare.org/

https://www.healthyfamiliesbc.ca/

Are you parents/caretakers aware of your child’s emotional needs? Are you mindful of your own actions and behavior? or Are you always there for your child when they go through an emotional stress? Answer these to yourself.

What are your thoughts on this topic? Do share with me in the comments below. And don’t forget to share this post with your friends and family.

The post How Emotions & Emotional Needs of a child affects their behavior? appeared first on Growing With Nemit.