MAA – The Mom Series (Post 4)
Hi friends, let’s welcome December with this lovely story of a mother who has found her source of joy and learning in motherhood. This post is special as it is written by the person who actually gave me the idea of doing The Mom Series. Well, and the best part is she herself has no idea about it. Time to reveal!
So, one day we were having a normal chat and she appreciated me for my work, then she said something which made me think about it over the next 2 days. She said whatever I am writing on my blog, she can write that too but couldn’t as she herself doesn’t get such ideas.
It made me ponder on her comment and I realized that she was right. I am no one special, just a mother who loves to share her experience, in the hope that someone reading it could get benefitted or someone going through the similar situations can feel relieved that she’s not the only one. And if we look at the bigger picture, don’t you think we all mothers have some or the other kind of experiences which if shared with others can help, motivate and inspire other mothers too.
Hence the credit goes to Gunjan Bhatla, for giving me this brilliant idea of calling out the mothers and letting them share their motherhood experience with the world. Thanks a lot, dear!
Now, it’s time to read her story in her own words.
Motherhood – My Source of Joy and Learning
– By Gunjan Bhatla
Someone has rightly said – “Motherhood is an experiment that how long your body can function without adequate sleep or nourishment and fuelled only by caffeine and baby smiles.”
The joy of motherhood comes in moments. There would certainly be hard and frustrating times but amid the challenges, there are shining moments of joy and love. As soon as my hubby and I came to know that a new family member is on its way, we were overjoyed; even my in-laws and my maternal side were really happy.
But I was not aware that soon I would be getting experienced teachings from everyone in the family and to my surprise from few of my friends too. All sort of suggestions started flooding in.
Give me a break, at least wait for my Motherhood to begin. Typical Punjabi family, if you can imagine.
Then came the day – 4th March 2016 and I was a mother of a handsome baby boy after having more than 10 hours of labor pain and still getting a C- Section at the end. When I came out of the Operation Theatre, my mom shook me and asked, “what happened?” I was obviously clueless at that time, as I was still regaining consciousness. I remember a voice came in my ears, “Babu Hua Hai”. I was so happy, as my hubby always used to tell me if there would be a girl, then we would find a “Ghar Jamai”. I would not send her away from me, LOL.
Our family was filled with joy and all the good things were happening.
I would like to mention, at that time my Father-in-law (FIL) & Mother-in-law (MIL) were in their 80’s. And apart from me and my MIL, there was no other lady in the house. And I was literally forced by the very same situation to spend my first three months post delivery at my mother’s place. And for those three months, my hubby was not with me. He used to come and meet us on weekends.
Obviously, I was overjoyed with the arrival of my baby but could also see the hardships I would be facing while upbringing my child. And the worst part was, I became very emotional. But I had no idea what was happening with me. And as my hubby was not with me, it was very difficult for him to understand the situation.
Here the Learning phase started. After some days I read an article, which literally shocked me. It was all about the Post Partum Depression. After reading that I recalled all the incidents that happened to me. And believe me guys, it was really easy to correlate the things. Now I am aware that I was trapped in PPD. I forwarded the same article to my hubby to make him understand the situation I was in. However, things on his side were even more complex. I realized being alone for 3 months, he had gone into a kind of depression himself. This further broke me and later the situation got worse and we started having arguments and misunderstandings between us. And that was the last thing that I wanted in my life.
But thankfully, because of my mother and sister, things between us gradually improved. They used to counsel us regularly and calm us down. Thanks a ton MOM and SIS!
After 3 months, I was back to my hubby’s home. I would like to mention that my MIL used to try and help me, but could not do most of the activities due to her age. All of a sudden God gave me another dose of shock; my MIL was diagnosed with Dementia when my baby was just four months old. After that, regular visits to the hospital started. Sometimes it used to stretch for more than two weeks and I had to manage all the things at home and outside on my own.
Dementia is a broad category of brain diseases that cause a long-term and often gradual decrease in the ability to think and remember that is great enough to affect a person’s daily functioning. The most common type of dementia is Alzheimer’s disease, which makes up 50% to 70% of cases.
Source – Wikipedia
She was in bed for more than six months and later in Dec 2016 the worst thing happened; she expired. And I was left all alone. Now, the situation was, I had a 9-month-old baby in my lap with all the responsibilities of the house; as I was the only lady left. The situation was really tough!
And believe me guys, I am still learning to cope up with many things, managing all the household activities and taking care of three kids…my own baby, my hubby and my FIL (after losing his better half, he had become a kid whom we have to take care of very consciously).
Now I can say that I perfectly understand the meaning of “Learning is a never-ending process“. With my three babies of different generations, I have learned so many things:
1. Wake up with lots of energy, even after sleepless nights.
2. Have patience even if the baby is crying without any reason.
3. Handle baby’s tantrums.
4. Taking care of all the day to day needs of my hubby.
5. Taking care of an 84 years old baby.
The list is never-ending.
I pray to GOD that he gives me the required strength and blessings that I become a responsible Daughter-in-law, a loving and caring Wife and a successful Mother.
Thanks for sharing your story Gunjan, Motherhood indeed brings unlimited joy as well as lots of teaching on its way. Only after going through such myriad emotions and situations, mothers become even stronger.
This is the last post of The Mom Series and I want to thank all the awesome mothers who shared their stories to be featured on my blog. It was exciting as well as inspiring to read the stories of real moms, it made us look for hope, courage, determination, faith, and joy in our own motherhood journeys. Much power and love to all the mothers! And big thanks to all my lovely readers for making it successful, people coming back to read these stories proved they loved it as much as we loved bringing these to you.
Having said that, though I am not continuing the series for December but will definitely bring some more stories of strong mothers to end our year with lots of positiveness and inspiration in our hearts. And we will call these as the Bonus Posts.
Those of you who have missed reading the previous stories, you can read them all by clicking on the below links-
Hope you like these stories. Do comment and share if you liked!