In Memory of our fur baby, Caesar
Hello friends, I am starting a blog series in memory of our fur baby, Caesar. This post is really special and close to my heart. I have been quite emotional since the last few days when I decided to write about our first child, our fur baby, our dog Caesar who is no more with us. He left us alone in this troubled world on March 25, 2018.
He had just turned 3 & made his first road trip with us, and we were already planning another one for the next month. But everything changed in just a blink of an eye. It felt as if I had lost a part of me that day.
I have not talked about Caesar with anyone except family because I still don’t feel ready. Somewhere in my heart, I have this huge guilt that his death is my fault. Being a mother, I feel he was my responsibility, and I should have saved him no matter what.
How could a mother let her child die in her hands? This question still haunts me.
I hope to gather some strength by the end of this blog series to write about that unfortunate day when we lost Caesar. Pet parents will be able to understand my pain. But for others, I want to request to read the post with an open heart.
And, please don’t judge me, I am not yet ready to face the judgement.
This whole month, I want to write about Caesar starting from the day we brought him home to his last day with us. I hope that would help liberate the grief that’s deep-seated in my heart & help me heal. And, I could once again tell my baby that I am sorry. I still remember you, miss you, love you and want you to come back to Mumma, this time I will do better. Please, forgive me!
I wanted to write this long back in July when Richa & Priya started an Instagram page, Letter Unread, for people to share & talk about the stories of loss, love, and healing. I tried to write many times but couldn’t do it. A voice inside me keeps saying that I deserve this pain.
I know I deserve it, but I really can’t bear this pain anymore.
I want to talk about Caesar with people without feeling any guilt. And, I want to tell the world what an intelligent, smart, crazy & lovable pup he was.
If he were with us right now, he would be lying on my slippers pretending to be asleep but keeping a watch on me with half-closed eyes. And the moment I would get up from the bed, he would follow me everywhere, excitedly wagging his tail to give me company. Or maybe for a treat or just for a pat on his forehead. Umm, let’s just stick with giving me company.
I am doing a blog series this month in memory of our fur baby, #My_Son_Caesar.
Since this is the month of #MyFriendAlexa by Blogchatter, I will be linking all my posts to their website. Do check out the new reloaded Blogchatter website to discover some amazing blogs, bloggers, and campaigns.